Category Archives: Empaths and Highly sensitive persons

Some days you will manage being an empath better than others…at today’s race I only did ok

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Keep working at it, that is basically the message of this blog post.

There will be days when you succeed despite all of your sensitivity and “feeling” in being rooted and strong, present and mindful of you and the “everything else”, aware of the clutter yet able to hold a peaceful space in your mind and so much more. And then there will be other days when it isn’t quite so easy. And that is just the way it is!

Being an empath comes with a huge responsibility to manage what we are feeling; we can be all to quick to point the finger and become victim to what we are sensing if we aren’t accepting of the responsibility that we have to be accountable to our “gifts”. This is a constant skill to be developed in addition to the countless other skills we must learn in order to not only cope but thrive in a world that is constructed on vibrations and energy.

This short post is a quick reminder to just keep trying.

More days than not we won’t succeed, or something will blind side us, or tests will come our way when life triggers our emotional wounds, or we explode after a long day of too much stimulus, or we retreat from our loved ones when things feel wobbly, and so the list goes on. However, the other days will be a success.

You will succeed.

And whether you are at the end of a successful day or a more challenging day as you read this post right now, remember that there are always lessons to be learned, nudges to follow, and new ways to see old challenges. It is in truth, never a failure day.

You’ve got this!

We live in a world where we must balance the “getting out there” with the quiet spaces that all empaths carve out called “alone-time” (this is crucial, if you aren’t making space for peace and quiet alone-time in nature please consider starting). It is not good to avoid life completely; like everyone walking this planet we have something to bring to humanity and hiding away from people and feeling and big energies will not ultimately make us feel good for very long.

The greatest paradox of being highly sensitive is that you will only feel alive around people where you get to use your gifts and skills, the very place that feels too much, too big and too overwhelming.

Trust me, you have got this! Keep testing yourself, keep practicing, keep jumping into as much as you can when it comes to life, career, sports, and relationships. Within all these you will find something that you thrive in and developing strengths here will open you to see that you are strong, and that you can, and then when you can, you will… no excuse: keep throwing yourself in!!

My happy space is sport. I love nothing more than running or cycling in the countryside; near the trees and water and nature. In this space I practice presence and grounding and I have been pushing myself a little on a mission to see just how connected to earth and mind-empty and in flow that I can be. It’s been going well. I love this little test to see just how much I can let go and morph into the vibes of life. If I can master this I will grow in my professional work with clients and my healing work. I will also learn to race with less anxiety and less clutter from others. I am chasing FLOW.

Today I ran a half marathon in a forest;

Portumna forest, Co. Tipperary to be exact. A magical place!.

This is the type of racing that I love; it’s on my territory. I can connect to the trees and wildlife, dig my feet into mother earth, and despite the people and their pain find my happy space. I set these very goals for this race this morning in my journal.

My fitness is slowly improving after what we can just describe as an horrendous year last year of extraordinary challenges and as a result of this health that led to disappointments in sport and a massive loss of fitness and strength. I lost out on a lot of things that I wanted to do. So; sob story aside I have been thoroughly enjoying being back at sport and building my fitness and to be honest super proud of just how kind and supportive of myself I have been. There were some gold nuggets in the tough 12 months… I am choosing to not see the year as a waste, but as a win… just a different kind of win. A personal growth win, a relationship win, a professional learning win, a win in terms of deeper compassion and so much more…..

Anyhow today did not to to plan! I had a race that I am more than happy with as it is progress on my last race; the weather was kind and my boyfriend stormed his race.

But I was a mess in my head with all that I was sensing and then it went into cognitive over drive. I was negative, I had heavy legs one side of the forest and light legs the other, I kept telling myself that I had heavy legs and that I wasn’t on pace or form, let’s stop (what the fuck I thought to myself when that thought hit, I was perfectly fine to keep going), I kept thinking that my gut was about to explode with diarrhoea (it had been off before the race getting worse as we drove to the race location), I was even so irrational to think that I was going to puke at the race finish, and on and on the insanity went in my head.

I was completely aware of this (madness), yet struggling to create my normal happy space, my go to strategy of connecting to the forest, to build a bubble around myself. I focused on not focusing on the negatives and simply allowing..

Anyhow, as you see I (I almost want to say we given my mad crazed head) did push on and get into somewhat of a more positive partially connected space, I told myself that I have legs (awesome!!) rather than lead legs and I started to notice more around me such as the ash, the birch, the giant oaks, the wild roses, the lake and so on. But wow, what a stupid waste of mental energy is all that I could think to myself.

So, I guess this is just an example of that we don’t always succeed AND we do our best. As I sit and write this I am content to say that I did my best.

There is so much going on in a race regarding how much the thinking brain is conscious of, the people around you physically, the focus on “running or racing”, the management of pain and discomfort and breathing, never mind the added extras of heightened sensitivity such as the sensations that are sensed from the realm of energy in terms of your surroundings, the history of the ground under your feet, and what other people are thinking and feeling. The brain (or more correctly the sensing brain) would blow up trying to process it all at once. For me I got a bit stuck in the denseness of it all.

I believe that sometimes all that you can do is keep doing….

I did not want to stop and sit on a bench and ask the universe what am I feeling right now, how can I help/ heal/ understand or how can I simply leave be! This is what I would do in normal life and perhaps with time I can improve on what I do on the go. I have become very good to block out other peoples pain and thoughts normally when racing, but today I was not entirely successful!

In retrospect one lady was vomiting at the race finish. I didn’t see her but my boyfriend later told me. I also sensed some spirit realm beside me at one point (it helped to feel this actually; it was something I could manage then as I “knew”), I am bang on before my period which is always a time of heightened sensitivity, and finally now that I have a little time and read more about the forest (I am curious!) I feel a pang of sadness that the beautiful ash, of which a lot of this forest is, may die in the coming years due to ash dieback disease. This makes me incredibly sad as the ash to me is a beautiful sacred tree of the feminine (please read my other blog here). Here is a little more about the forest and I assume if I dig more there will be stories and history as there always in the local land here. So, maybe I should cut myself some slack… that is what I would tell you after all!

Don’t be too hard on yourself on the less good days

So, take a step back on the less good days; learn the lessons to make the next days great days and just keep loving yourself. Some days we want to curse our sensitivity and empathy; but then could you feel the world and all her exquisite beauty that surrounds you and blows your mind and opens your heart?… no…. so just keep at it, keep believing, keep loving, keep being you.

Xx Andrea

PS the pictures above are of Portumna Forest park; these aren’t mine; I only wish that I had a camera running but I didn’t.

And my doggie, telling me that “Mommy” ran short (race was a tad short), and this is how you stretch if you want to run a little faster with less lead-like legs

This is how you stretch
Yep, short!
I am happy with the effort.

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I want to heal

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It is so frustrating isn’t it when the body apparently lets you down, when it takes an age to heal, when you feel like shit day after day and it becomes so hard to have faith or find a positive focus.

You feel punished and you don’t know why.

I hear you!

We cannot run from what the body is saying; s(he) needs time, s(he) needs patience and love. S(he) needs you to listen and to be kind.

You aren’t being punished. The body is holding you here for good reason. You need to slow down, you need to look in, you need to finally go head and heart first into the old wounds and traumas, you need to learn new ways, greater love, divine patience! You are being asked to blindly trust, to have greater faith, to stick your heels into self belief and that things will turn around. Maybe not now but soon.

I am here to support you, to help you unravel the body messages and the emotional threads that seek untangling. If there are physical issues we can identify and work on them, and if there are symptoms that unravel deep into your soul wounds we can find these too. Whatever way works for you, we will go there.

You are safe now…. faith, love, trust. But most of all love…

Andrea x

I recorded this today for you; please have a listen

 

I have been through a rough 12 months myself. Most days I can be strong, I have the knowledge to self-heal and the ability to listen to the wisdom to know where to focus my energy. That said I am human, I get impatient, I want to be somewhere else, I am stubborn and don’t always hear or I get stuck doing what I feel I should in life when the never ending wall I keep hitting is asking me for more. To be myself. I hit the wall again yesterday and today took myself into nature. I needed some lessons.

Here are some snippets of the soul healing in my day..nature is phenomenal to heal us, teach us, guide and inspire us.

Try taking a selfie with this one!
Light orbs
Tree fungus!
Maritime pine heals “I want to feel better”
Bleanbeg bog
Come on Mommy
Morning light after the snow melt
Snow melt water
Lichen a marker for clean pure air
Mountain streams filled with snow water

Heart soothe

and one tired doggie after her exploring:

Who smells of the aroma of expensive organic baby shampoo and fox poo all in one

You are so very loved, so truly perfect, and are important,

Love,
Andrea

PS if you are fed up of hitting the wall, please don’t suffer alone. Reach out…

Can you make real sacrifices for what you believe?

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Can you answer the call? Truly can you?

I spent time on retreat in 2016, in Sedona, and my guide Clint asked me one day:

“Are you prepared, when called, to drop everything? Because there will come a time and you may have to make great sacrifices for what you believe in.”

And I said yes, while thinking to myself, sure I can. After all making a difference is what matters to me. I am passionate about helping people and I am passionate about my planet. This was why was I in Sedona after all, making great financial sacrifices to learn how to better listen, to hear the messages of spirit, the vibrations of the human body and nature to become a better healer and channeler of wisdom. I was ready to just be me and put myself out there on a ledge where people may not fully understand me and expose myself because making a difference mattered more. “Of course” I thought to myself, “at any opportunity I WANT to make a difference; hell yes I can answer the call”.

Now think about it, can you drop everything when called to action?

What is it that matters to you? Where is your soul called? I am asking you to think about it….. not merely read my story example…..

Are you called to be a leader in your family, or community?

To be an honest game changing professional in the corporate world with different morals and ethics and actions, a leader and influencer and not just a talker and to make dents in creating sustainable change in our planet?

Are you a healer with gifts …?

Is there something special that you can teach people about themselves, their community, their ancestry, protecting their environment or to deepen their wisdom about this planet and all of us on here.

Think deeply, what are the things that really matter because these probably fall into one of two categories: people and our world/ planet/ environment; in truth they are both connected.

Now think about the things that you have planned on your list of wishes and dreams; things that our affluence and the opportunities in our lives give us. Sport, travel, education, food, nice cars, a nice house, etc etc. Yep we all have them….
Now think about the things that you do every day; that lead you to be “to busy to….”

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Ten words of advice to the young girl that didn’t understand her sensitivity

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This article is for all sensitive persons and their parents and loved ones. I hope it helps.

—————————————

Life is a barrel of lessons; that hurt. I didn’t have a clue about what sensitivity and empathic traits were growing up. This led to epic fails, bad decisions, and painful mistakes.

It also ultimately led to understanding people, having compassion for lifes journey, noticing the smallest of delights in our wonderful world, being open to the universal nudges and wisdom gifted in every moment and ultimately led me to arriving at a place of self acceptance.

At some point; I promise you life WILL make sense, each moment will feel special and you will see yourself with the kindest of eyes and gentlest of hearts. You will see that you are someone, just like everyone, doing their best. This rainbow of happy vibes doesn’t happen every day; being sensitive in a fast paced world is a mixed bag of tricks; but it gets easier.

Throw yourself in; own it, breathe it, live it; YOUR way.

Life threw a lot at me; and that chat can stay asleep for another day. This article is not about me, but a gentle voice of advice and support that you can take on board or not!

That’s just it, being a highly sensitive person you have sort of popped out with a strong inner voice that knows what is right for you. Practice this now with my words. Some will resonate and some will not. Think about it, play with it and take it from there.

So, if I was standing in front of myself aged lets say 16 to 30 again (because these years contained the most “it fucking sucks” wounds); what would I say to myself about navigating life.

That’s me aged 19 – wish i could say that was an ice-cream. Uni ball 1995

One.

Let’s first make it clear that if you are sensitive or empathic you have a radar to feel that is set at a different threshold for what you sense.

The obvious ones such as noise, stimulus and emotions are felt a little more deeply; but normally this isn’t obvious until several things trigger you and you go from hero to zero in a meltdown which can be an explosion of tears, anger, walls, or negative coping skills. For example a loud commute to school in traffic or someone playing the radio one notch too high, someone banging a pen off the desk, a flickering light and then someone says something negative to you. Ordinarily you could hold it in for ONE of these, but the x, y, and z added to make 1000 in terms of sensory overload.

I wish mine were that calm!

But also your radar is acutely tuned to feel people and the world. Thoughts, emotions, vibrations, pain, world news, and even lunar, solar and weather patterns; on some level and in a variety of ways these can be sensed. How you know all that you sense is not entirely clear to you and many times you will feel a little odd, unsure, and shaky in what exactly it is that you are sensing.

Some sensitive persons can feel spirit energy and thoughts and feelings in places from events that may have happened in the past or recent past. These ‘knowings’ can feel positive or negative; but generally it is only the negative ones that grab our attention with a big wallop of anxiety.

The dream world can also be intense; beautiful, surreal, prophetic, fore-warning and the whole mash up of life. This can lead to fatigue in some and a feeling of not being grounded or fully present. Does this sound like you?

You are NOT mad; start to practice clearing the clutter and spend time deciphering the messages that are important with a “lets understand this message button”, and over-riding the ones that aren’t with a “delete” button. Too much time spent trying to figure everything out is wasting your time and precious energy. And if emotionally you feel all over the shop, it truly is helpful to have support. I didn’t have support. It was scary and overwhelming; often.

In a nutshell, learn to be discerning.

Two

It’s not all about you. Ouch.

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let strength of mind, body, and emotions be the buffer…

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I bet some days you wish that you weren’t so sensitive, that you didn’t care, that you could be cold and numb to the world around you and more like “other people”.

It feels tough doesn’t it? You feel separate, misunderstood, and life seems to throw impossible curve ball after impossible curve ball at you?

Your body feels tired, at times you feel sorry for yourself, and you keep running to people in the hope that they will say that you are special as well as normal and not crazy. You want to find someone who will make it better and so you run; you run into controlling relationships, therapists that take your power away, spiritual groups that say you must heal yourself to be whole, and maybe even religion that says we can be saved. There are probably a gazzillion others ways that you run; can you think of them?

sometimes it is our perception of being alone that leads to so much pain and isolation. Our pains and wounds, our past life cellular memory triggered by present. Sometimes, our reality is not in truth as we believe….often there is an abundance of love, support and connection trying to find us. But we have built walls and so cannot feel….and we have expectations and place an impossible standard on those people who quite simply love us….

You get stuck in endless negative arguments on social media about how to eat, how to heal, and about illness like fibromyalgia, lymes, chronic fatigue and more. You get pulled into attachment to a specific way, the only way; and it feels hard to let go and accept the cornucopia of wondrous beliefs and theories in our beautiful and diverse worlds.

You feel separate, misunderstood, alone. We all feel separate and alone; because we keep finding things wrong with ourselves, with others and then creating labels for it all.

Why do we need to label just being?

So, how far do you want to run into strategies to stop feeling? What if you could actually feel more?

Feeling is the end result of the information that our senses give us; senses that run right along a spectrum for us all from taste, smell, sight and touch to being able to sense the more subtle energy vibrations of earth and her plants and animals, the body and its cellular vibrations, thoughts and state of being; to everything that is out there and beyond in terms of planets, the sun and the moon.

Everything is energy, and energy has a hum; life has a vibration and how this is sensed can vary between us; for good reason!

So, do you want to feel more or less? How are you going to use these senses?

There gifted people walking amongst us; every one of us with a role. Some are highly sensitive and attuned to feel subtle energies and use it as information, and others more tapped into the energy picture as a whole; the people who create and do. So many of us and we all sense in slightly different ways and use this to do slightly different things.

Some of us feel at home in the vibrancy of a city, people and the mass energy of numbers and others in the slower paced calm of nature; where every small vibration is felt at a different level of intensity.

We are a collective, all here on a mission, all tuned to the vibes that serve our path. No one is better than or lesser than; we are all connected, intertwined and here for the ride.

Life can feel terribly overwhelming however to the sensitive persons tuned to feel every small subtle vibration. It can overload the senses if you don’t employ crucial self-care skills and learn to understand your thresholds and how to manage them. This is something that I have had to learn for me to thrive in this world and something I am passionate about sharing with my clients.

And now to my point; the past weeks have been tough for people who feel a lot. For some these weeks have felt like months and years; their whole lives perhaps.

We can become a victim to our greatest gifts and I am here to ask you to stand to attention and ask these questions:

  • Do you feel sorry for yourself?
  • Are you neglecting your body? Are you overweight and eating all the wrong foods because you aren’t listening to your true appetite?
  • Are you all stuck in your mind and over thinking and over analysis? (and not in your heart)?
  • Do you keep running from therapist to therapist and doctor to doctor because you keep telling yourself there is something wrong with you?
  • Are you running into food, alcohol, disordered eating or other avoidance tactics?
  • Are you getting lost in negative relationships?
  • Despite being a very compassionate and empathic person, do you end up in a self-absorbed pickle of feeling like people take advantage of you, complaining about a lack of personal boundaries, and getting stuck in loops where you become over focused on your mind, body and health? I.e. obsessive type thinking?

Tricky one isn’t it!

So, what do we do?

We build ourselves up; eat well, exercise and become strong in body. Build ourselves mentally through challenges and facing fears; build ourselves up emotionally by allowing the feelings, being curious and not overly self-absorbed, being open to trusting and becoming increasingly self-reliant on the tough days. We manage our energy better with healthy balance of give and receive, and more than ever we spend time in nature and reflection. 

mind, body, emotions, connection to source.

Big love,
Andrea

me as i set off on a long bike ride – nourishing my mind (mental strength), body (physical strength) and emotions (being around a lot of people). While also getting earth connection in beautiful co. limerick countryside

 

5 key self-care steps to health and healing

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Hello all,
Here is a short video that I have put together detailing some of what I believe are important steps to self-care; they are crucial for my own well being and for me to continue my work caring for people in my own full health.

In order to be there for others, we must be there for ourselves and to do this we must set time aside to re-balance our energy, re-ground our energy and gift ourselves breathing time to remember what matters most and to keep perspective (and sometimes sanity!).

To give to others, we must first give to self….
To give to others with no expectation, we must come from a place of peace, calm and well-being.

Love,
Andrea

This is my play-ground for recharging.

PS. If you know of anyone suffering from stress and overwhelm please do share this and furthermore, if you have any tips please do share in the comments.

 

“As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!”
― Charlie Chaplin

 

 

 

 

Update, what are you hungry for? and Grounding techniques for you to try

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Hello everyone,

Here are a few recent video blogs for you to listen to that I urge you to spend some time with if you have been “feeling it” lately.

Also I went on to discuss various grounding techniques that you may find helpful. Not all will resonate; the point is to try things and see what works for us. For me nature, movement and spending time with my dog Trinity all work. I also meditate most days and keep crystals everywhere in my life! This article written previously may also provide ideas to play with: https://andrea-cullen.com/2014/11/28/how-to-get-into-your-zen/

 

I am feeling, my body screams.
My stomach is in knots and my head is flying into space.

My chest feels pressed on;
I cannot think straight.

Everything is buzzing in an energy moving at me,
Waves and waves of energy and information in an invisible thread pulling me into the centre of your universe.
And you don’t even know that I feel you.

I feel your heart and its burden,
Your pain and its fear.
Your beauty and your kindness and your still silent soul waiting to be heard.
Your story invades my body;
and all I want is for you to hear it too.

I feel both hungry, empty, full and nauseous.
So many feeling crammed into a small tiny body.
I feel huge, yet invisible;
I don’t even feel like I am fully here.

 

And then I slow it all down once more.

Just stop and listen the universe reminds me.
And I do; I embrace all that is surrounding me in guidance and support.
An infinite flow of love, energy, healing and something more that no one can accurately label because it means something different for us all.

The birds sing of strength,
The trees dance with an energy that lifts my heart,
The river flows through my being with life force.
My feet feel the buzz of life underneath me.
All is well; I am strong. As strong as honesty can be.

 

I have answers, but no one wants to ask.
I love big; yet I am surrounded by an angry world.

People want you to help; but they push you away.
People are tired, but they wont reach out for my energy.

I am here, I will show up…. I will be there…

 

Sending you lots of love,

Please reach out if you are finding it tough; the answers will come if you create the space,

Love,
Andrea

So I won a race

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This is a blog to help the sensitive souls that are also awesome athletes.

I won a race this weekend; it was totally unexpected. I even had to have to two people check the race results as I couldn’t quite believe it. This was my second time completing a half iron-man distance and I feckin’ won the race; wow. I don’t feel that I can really claim this because due to fog and weather conditions the swim was cancelled just as we were being briefed and ready to go and the resulting race was a 7 km run, 96 km bike and 7 km run loop ran twice to make the correct distance. The loops on my Garmin were on the short side, a bit disappointing because I like perfect numbers and 6.75 x 3 does not a half marathon make LOL; so in ways I am trying to compute what all this winning means.

The last time I was really good at winning something was anorexia in my youth and a drive to over-exercise that persisted into my early thirties. I made myself invisible in life and the only winning was the beating myself up in my head. Trust me the exercise was no preparation for this sort of stuff; it was just endless hours of cardio and weight training to burn every ounce of energy out of my body and a voice that wasn’t satisfied until this mission was accomplished. It probably did make me a phenomenal fat burner if I want to take something good out of it. This sort of strategy to cope with life is very common in sensitive persons; and one that can be turned around. There is so much more to life than internalizing your sensitivity; it is so very worth it to embrace a new way of doing things.

tony robbins

This isn’t the story of a victim, or even a victor. Nothing really matters as much as what we do right now and I just wanted to share some words of support for the sensitive souls that also have a drive to live life to the full and have a burning desire to experience it all. In other words get out there and make impossible dreams come true.

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The Empath Paradox

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The empath’s paradox: how we feel everything and yet often know nothing.

It can be very hard for loved ones to understand us; and yet feeling understood is the glue to our trust in all relationships.

Unless you have been a very fortunate highly sensitive child you more than likely were raised in a family that quite simply weren’t equipped to understand or encourage your sensitivity. In a world of feeling people, people’s emotions, and world events you more than likely learned that if you were sensing everything and the world was still spinning then something was wrong with you.

lonely child 2

Doubts, insecurities, and feeling like the weirdo that could never quite match up to  the expectations of people and life became part of your being. If someone felt unhappy, angry, frustrated, or distant to you then the only logical conclusion could have been that it was you.

Unless you learnt what the soup of emotions meant as a child you more than likely internalized them all into part of your identity instead of learning what was and wasn’t ‘yours’.

Time marches on and life takes spins and turns and if you are fortunate you start to learn what this high sensitivity or being empathic means.

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