Category Archives: Anxiety

Ten words of advice to the young girl that didn’t understand her sensitivity

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This article is for all sensitive persons and their parents and loved ones. I hope it helps.

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Life is a barrel of lessons; that hurt. I didn’t have a clue about what sensitivity and empathic traits were growing up. This led to epic fails, bad decisions, and painful mistakes.

It also ultimately led to understanding people, having compassion for lifes journey, noticing the smallest of delights in our wonderful world, being open to the universal nudges and wisdom gifted in every moment and ultimately led me to arriving at a place of self acceptance.

At some point; I promise you life WILL make sense, each moment will feel special and you will see yourself with the kindest of eyes and gentlest of hearts. You will see that you are someone, just like everyone, doing their best. This rainbow of happy vibes doesn’t happen every day; being sensitive in a fast paced world is a mixed bag of tricks; but it gets easier.

Throw yourself in; own it, breathe it, live it; YOUR way.

Life threw a lot at me; and that chat can stay asleep for another day. This article is not about me, but a gentle voice of advice and support that you can take on board or not!

That’s just it, being a highly sensitive person you have sort of popped out with a strong inner voice that knows what is right for you. Practice this now with my words. Some will resonate and some will not. Think about it, play with it and take it from there.

So, if I was standing in front of myself aged lets say 16 to 30 again (because these years contained the most “it fucking sucks” wounds); what would I say to myself about navigating life.

That’s me aged 19 – wish i could say that was an ice-cream. Uni ball 1995

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Let’s first make it clear that if you are sensitive or empathic you have a radar to feel that is set at a different threshold for what you sense.

The obvious ones such as noise, stimulus and emotions are felt a little more deeply; but normally this isn’t obvious until several things trigger you and you go from hero to zero in a meltdown which can be an explosion of tears, anger, walls, or negative coping skills. For example a loud commute to school in traffic or someone playing the radio one notch too high, someone banging a pen off the desk, a flickering light and then someone says something negative to you. Ordinarily you could hold it in for ONE of these, but the x, y, and z added to make 1000 in terms of sensory overload.

I wish mine were that calm!

But also your radar is acutely tuned to feel people and the world. Thoughts, emotions, vibrations, pain, world news, and even lunar, solar and weather patterns; on some level and in a variety of ways these can be sensed. How you know all that you sense is not entirely clear to you and many times you will feel a little odd, unsure, and shaky in what exactly it is that you are sensing.

Some sensitive persons can feel spirit energy and thoughts and feelings in places from events that may have happened in the past or recent past. These ‘knowings’ can feel positive or negative; but generally it is only the negative ones that grab our attention with a big wallop of anxiety.

The dream world can also be intense; beautiful, surreal, prophetic, fore-warning and the whole mash up of life. This can lead to fatigue in some and a feeling of not being grounded or fully present. Does this sound like you?

You are NOT mad; start to practice clearing the clutter and spend time deciphering the messages that are important with a “lets understand this message button”, and over-riding the ones that aren’t with a “delete” button. Too much time spent trying to figure everything out is wasting your time and precious energy. And if emotionally you feel all over the shop, it truly is helpful to have support. I didn’t have support. It was scary and overwhelming; often.

In a nutshell, learn to be discerning.

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It’s not all about you. Ouch.

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Escaping The Loneliness Trap

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This is a brilliant piece of writing from my cousin Nicky Cullen

Click the links to read on

According to Psychology Today, in 2010, roughly 40 percent of Americans reported feeling lonely on a regular basis compared to 20% in the 80s. I’m not American, nor do I know what the figures for 2018 and the rest of the world are, but I’m guessing they’re not good.

Before we dive into it, let’s just go ahead and blame the Internet and Social Media at large for making addicts and hermits of us all. One could argue we’d be better off addicted to crack!

“We are social beings evolved in an anti-social world seeking social validation from an anti-social platform.”

Say that 10 times fast!

The Internet and Social Media are here to stay, and I’m not going to be the one to start a mainstream crack movement, so let’s move it along.

According to the Internet’s most reliable source, Wikipedia…

“Loneliness typically includes anxious feelings about a lack of connection or communication with other beings, both in the present and extending into the future. As such, loneliness can be felt even when surrounded by other people.”

Basically, loneliness sucks balls. I don’t know about you, but I hate seeing people who are noticeably sad, lonely, and maybe too shy to do anything about it because society has scared the shit out of them to the point they’re living in absolute terror.

Read on here: https://medium.com/the-mission/escaping-the-loneliness-trap-2373bb2c5f0b

Love,
Andrea

Stress is the trip switch….

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When stress goes up, often many of us play this out in food and diet.

 

We get a little bit more controlling, a little/ lot bit more judgemental and hard on ourselves, we set harder goals for weight and performance based on well… punishment and many of us feel a little more unsure in our bodies. the stress battle play out in the worst of internal battles… invisible to almost everyone in your circle except the most intuitive.

for the purpose of us being open, honest and supportive for one another… if it feels right. How do you manage this and rein it in? how did you move forwards… what advice would you give?

When all form of control and certainty leaves us and overwhelm sneaks up; we often subconsciously start to control in other areas. It is human nature.

With practice we can become better to catch ourselves, laugh it off with ‘here I go again’ and quickly shift focus to exploring, learning and growing more positive life skills and strategies.

Me? I am not ashamed to say that I did have my struggles (in the past). It makes me real and helps me to understand other people’s struggles and obsessions and quirks. Sometimes I forget about it all as I have pushed it all back into the past; I tend to forget the level of anxiety that lived with me permanently, and the control and neurosis. It was, I realise now, all a coping skill. I guess it good to forget but I don’t want to either so that I know how it feels for others.

So how did I manage to recover from a serious eating disorder and hours and hours of forced exercise?… I just fought and looked forward to knowing a place of peace had to be at the end of the desire to be better balanced and healthy. I made small change after change to pull things into better balance; I wrote a journal and in it listed all my dreams for the life that I wanted…. all these little dreams, goals and changes add up, they all start to make a difference.

Please know that it is possible to get to a better place if you want to and set that intention and keep reminding yourself of why it matters and that you can. Don’t be too hard on yourself it can take time; and it is a journey and you can and are doing it.

Never quit on yourself; the breakthrough may be just around the corner.

Here are some tips based on what I find to be helpful when I start to self-judge and self-sabotage.

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Anxiety in the Christmas frenzy

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Anxious?

stress

Our world is a very “feeling it big” place right now. Every time I get into the car or go to a shop or anywhere there are people I can barely breathe with the anxiety I’m feeling. Try as I might even I am struggling to ground myself when I sense the anxiety of the world; my head is exploding, I am on edge and I cannot sleep that well.

There is no doubt a lot going on between Christmas shopping mayhem, Syria, assassinations, plane hijackings, and terrorism attacks. It feels wrong to write them all in the same sentence but the truth is we feel them all, and it is impossible to untangle what we sense when we are bombarded by them all.

I do enough in my day to manage these moments; my me time, my time with my love, getting outdoors for a run or getting a good swim or bike session in, taking a long bath, allowing myself to take a moment of peace in the shower, being totally present with my clients, writing my journal or making my tree and flower essence is sufficient in my day to make the more uncomfortable moments manageable.

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Years ago I would have really struggled with this. Anxiety feels awful. My brain is scatty, my heart is racing, I cannot ground myself. I completely empathize with you if you are feeling anxious.

Sleep is off for many of you, it’s like the world is spinning on its pillow worrying. Little things like financial pressure or worry about the presents and things to do fills people’s heads – we are all connected and the more sensitive of you will feel it.

Anger, frustration, and fatigue are all taken out on others and the roads are like the battle ground. Even driving where normally I find peace and quiet in a silent commute is now thick with anxiety as I drive towards places where there are people.

Firstly…these are first world problems.

Get a bit of perspective. It’s not all about us. How lucky we are to have these problems!

Secondly consider that the anxiety may not be yours.

You may be feeling the frenzy, the pressures or simply the volumes of people.

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Similarly things the other side of our reality like Syria, Germany, Russia and more are hitting our senses somehow in the invisible ( we can just feel it) and via the media outlets. Fear, anger, separation….and devastation fill our world.

What to do? Own it. Take responsibility for the anxiety. Shift your perspective, have compassion for people, avoid the peak rush hours, take breaks, get into a quiet space, ask what’s urgent and what’s not. Don’t lash out and pass your anxiety onto others especially family, eat well and don’t miss meals, watch your coffee and alcohol intake. Magnesium can help, a bath or shower also. I make plant and tree essences to provide support. Many other strategies like aromatherapy and music help too.

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Lastly create balance….where can you do good? Or infuse a smile and happiness into the world. If you are feeling it, it’s because you can somewhat change it.

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Know that you are in charge of this.

Breathe.

Be grateful. Look outside yourself…

Love you all. Here to chat if you need.

Andrea

XX

PS this is the beautiful tree overlooking the stone circles at Grange

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