It is so frustrating isn’t it when the body apparently lets you down, when it takes an age to heal, when you feel like shit day after day and it becomes so hard to have faith or find a positive focus.
You feel punished and you don’t know why.
I hear you!
We cannot run from what the body is saying; s(he) needs time, s(he) needs patience and love. S(he) needs you to listen and to be kind.
You aren’t being punished. The body is holding you here for good reason. You need to slow down, you need to look in, you need to finally go head and heart first into the old wounds and traumas, you need to learn new ways, greater love, divine patience! You are being asked to blindly trust, to have greater faith, to stick your heels into self belief and that things will turn around. Maybe not now but soon.
I am here to support you, to help you unravel the body messages and the emotional threads that seek untangling. If there are physical issues we can identify and work on them, and if there are symptoms that unravel deep into your soul wounds we can find these too. Whatever way works for you, we will go there.
You are safe now…. faith, love, trust. But most of all love…
Andrea x
I recorded this today for you; please have a listen
I have been through a rough 12 months myself. Most days I can be strong, I have the knowledge to self-heal and the ability to listen to the wisdom to know where to focus my energy. That said I am human, I get impatient, I want to be somewhere else, I am stubborn and don’t always hear or I get stuck doing what I feel I should in life when the never ending wall I keep hitting is asking me for more. To be myself. I hit the wall again yesterday and today took myself into nature. I needed some lessons.
Here are some snippets of the soul healing in my day..nature is phenomenal to heal us, teach us, guide and inspire us.
Try taking a selfie with this one!
Light orbs
Tree fungus!
Maritime pine heals “I want to feel better”
Bleanbeg bog
Come on Mommy
Morning light after the snow melt
Snow melt water
Lichen a marker for clean pure air
Mountain streams filled with snow water
Heart soothe
and one tired doggie after her exploring:
Who smells of the aroma of expensive organic baby shampoo and fox poo all in one
You are so very loved, so truly perfect, and are important,
Love,
Andrea
PS if you are fed up of hitting the wall, please don’t suffer alone. Reach out…
The first words a baby hears is that of his or her mother while in the womb; the first emotions that flood us are that of our mother and our first experience of food and nourishment is from our mothers.
A baby learns the emotional terrain about food, and the emotions around body, while in the womb.
As women, we hold the energies of time in our bodies; handed down through our ancestors. We hold the essence of life and we carry the women and men of our future. Even if we don’t choose to be a mother to children; we are mother to all. Our capacity to reach others and love is immense.
We are tied to the past, present and future and we have a capacity beyond what most of us believe to change how generations perceive, respect, love and nourish themselves and one another.
It starts with us.
A fully empowered women (and man) is free within her body and voice to walk the path of life with confidence, authenticity, and purpose. Filled with respect for all humankind, whatever colour or race. Love and respect for oneself is a transformative to all around you.
But to achieve this involves unshackling ourselves from our pain and wounds; wounds carried through since time began. Wounds of shame, guilt, oppression, silence, and persecution. The guilt of a woman’s body in creation, birth, life, loss and death. The shame of sexuality (the liberated woman); the fear of our ability to heal and help others (the medicine woman); the punishment of speaking out with the truth (the woman with a voice); the denial of an education, rights and opportunity (the educated woman); the suppression of the feminine and what she can contribute to society fuelled further by religious, political and patriarchal systems (the free woman).
We live in times where many of us are fortunate to live free, and yet without conscious awareness we carry all these fears and wounds. We wage our battle to let go and become our true selves against ourselves. The battle becomes with out bodies, we take every emotion out in destructive and controlling relationships with food, alcohol, exercise and cycles of punishment and purging. We sabotage ourselves before we even get to be all we can, before we give all we can, and lead with all we can.
The result is that every ounce of our creativity, expression, divine love, and capacity to give our all is squashed out of our being.
The fearless lioness within is tamed by hunger and fatigue.
We rarely have the energy to think beyond the cycles of dieting, exercise and self-judgement – we are anxious, stuck and unhappy. Furthermore, we are conflicted because from time to time we feel the flame of fire and passion and creativity within. The voice, the message, the love, the ideas, the leadership. It’s there, and then its squashed because “who do I think I am, I am not perfect enough, thin enough, smart enough”….
Imagine if we broke the cycle. Imagine if we nourished our being with food eaten in a state of acceptance and love shared often with others.
Imagine if exercise was done out of the sheer joy and freedom that movement gifts. Imagine if we felt proud and grateful to live and love in our skins. Imagine when we felt emotional overwhelm we talked it through; or when we faced tough life circumstances we had the courage to ask for help instead of holding it all in.
Imagine if women were able to talk about the challenges of being a woman, the really hard ones. Imagine if all of us, man and woman alike, felt confident to let our energy reach others, through a handshake, a smile, a hug and true compassion and presence. Imagine if we shone so bright it paved the way for others.
Imagine how creative you would feel free of the burden of self-hate, endless diets, unhappy exercise regimes and free from starting the day hating the image in the mirror.
Imagine feeling free from the anxiety of hating how it feels to be in your skin and endless thoughts of how to squash that energy out of yourself. Imagine how much creative power you would have, how much space for intuition and invention? How aware you would become of others and your capacity to transform life around you? Imagine feeling “good enough”.
Our relationship to everything is connected to our relationship to food, soul, and our physical self.
Imagine your power to teach our children self-love, simply from how you love and respect yourself. This message isn’t just about women. It is about everyone, men and women. As women and “mothers” we teach our boys and girls how to love and eat and be; first breath to last.
People sitting at dining table and eating
Love your body; live life to the full. Embrace your uniqueness….and eat… eat to nourish your soul and stimulate your senses.
The universe is always knocking on the door to your heart; she speaks with words that convey a hidden and symbolic message to only you. The universe speaks your language in nature, animals, birds and bees, the lyrics of music, signposts, numbers, through strangers and in our deepest dreams and intuitions.
There is always something more out there trying to reach you and in the busyness of life we often miss this.
YET, we pay for classes, read books, follow gurus, listen to videos and pay exorbitant amounts to others for what we already have within.
To find peace, you must let it in.
To have wisdom, you must first listen.
To know your answers, you must be still.
To grow you must simply be here in the now; aware and open to the universes lessons.
To find that place; you must simply open your senses.
The truth comes to those who seek, in the most beautiful, fantastical and amazing of ways. All you must do is allow……….
It’s not always quite that simple because we tend to give up a fight. Our minds don’t believe in simple.
I pondered many of these thoughts as I ran today. I ran up the steep hills from Kona seashore onto the highways. No people, just a hill in my face and my legs doing the work. This always takes me to the place of listening. When you are working up a hill your head shuts up rather promptly.
I noticed the breeze, the stillness, the morning sun above Hualalai as she broke through the clouds and with it brought her searing heat; I noticed the flowers, the birds, the trees and their massive Hawaiin leaves, the insects and all that spoke.
Ali’i drive tree by Kailua harbour
Kona blooms
Honl’s beach
I thought about what peace means:
Peace.
In the letting go we expect peace to be where there is nothing; a place of calm empty still.
But peace is where there is everything. It is the space where we see and notice all things within and without.
It’s like life slows down into slow motion in this space and we notice our breath and being alive; the ground and our connection with it; the wind, flowers, trees, people and their presence; every detail of our surroundings and our fleeting thoughts.
In this space we see the symbolism and understand the meaning in everything; our present here and now.
Peace is where we are connected to all – it is not a place of nothing but a space of heightened awareness and everything……..
I found peace this morning on my run; and in my space the universe invited herself in with the biggest bumble bee I have ever seen and he just stayed a foot in front of my face for about ten minutes buzzing about trying to get my attention as I sat on the beach after my run. And soon after this a busy ant carrying the equivalent of a house or something large across the sands; it looked like hard work made appear effortlessly simple.
For many of you these symbols may seem mad; to me they speak volumes. You will know your symbols.
Open your eyes and allow the universe speak to your heart…
I wanted to reach out today and say hello with a short message from Hawaii. I sat on Honl’s beach off Ali’i drive this morning for as many hours as it took me to start to let go; and feel my way back into the subtle energies of the world. Here was my beautiful view, stunning eh?
View from my place of meditation
And the other direction
I sat under this tree looking out over the yellow tang fish foraging under the waves
Day off for my trainers!
I hope that in my words, there are a many loving nudges for you to accept into your heart space.
Breathe in the Now and let go.
We all control things in life. No matter how far we think we may have journeyed along the path; there is always some more letting go to be done. Maybe allow it to be a fascinating journey into yourself; one with many ah-ha and amusing moments, as well as tears of release mingled into wanting to fight or resist what is for us.
This article is one of the most beautiful pieces that I have yet read detailing the healing voyage. I don’t need to clutter this with any words that detract from its perfection.
Enjoy how these words feel, and integrate them into your being: The Midwives of Integration written by MATT LICATA
The empath’s paradox: how we feel everything and yet often know nothing.
It can be very hard for loved ones to understand us; and yet feeling understood is the glue to our trust in all relationships.
Unless you have been a very fortunate highly sensitive child you more than likely were raised in a family that quite simply weren’t equipped to understand or encourage your sensitivity. In a world of feeling people, people’s emotions, and world events you more than likely learned that if you were sensing everything and the world was still spinning then something was wrong with you.
Doubts, insecurities, and feeling like the weirdo that could never quite match up to the expectations of people and life became part of your being. If someone felt unhappy, angry, frustrated, or distant to you then the only logical conclusion could have been that it was you.
Unless you learnt what the soup of emotions meant as a child you more than likely internalized them all into part of your identity instead of learning what was and wasn’t ‘yours’.
Time marches on and life takes spins and turns and if you are fortunate you start to learn what this high sensitivity or being empathic means.
I recorded a little message earlier prompted by what I have been feeling in the energies these past 24 hours.
It is done a little rushed; after a run and before having an epic race to get to work on time!
I hope that my message is clear; it is one to provoke us all to think a while….
To contemplate how we can all be more inclusive in our love for one another, aware of the amazing men in our world as well as our sisters, to acknowledge and celebrate the feminine energy in everything that is living and breathing.
I am also inviting us all to take a moment and reflect about how we can better integrate our masculine and feminine sides into our daily lives moving forwards; into our work and our unique paths.
How can we be a truer example of understanding and patience as we women demonstrate through our feminine essence to men and children how to return to this peaceful inner power.
We ALL have some work to do on letting go of the inner control that we exert in our lives; to love in connection to the feminine is to let things flow graciously according to the will of the universe. To radiate love, patience, acceptance and forgiveness.
We as women now must cast aside the control, measurement, obsessive drive towards perfection and over-analysis and allow there to be a better balance within ourselves of our masculine and feminine energies. Both are needed.
The path to the feminine lies in love, it knows not the constraints of time, there is no measure, it cannot be trapped or controlled; it is an energy in and not of the body. The feminine energy is a love that transcends all judgement and criticism, which is why it is often described as Divine. This energy is love; pure, free and unconditional in her demands…. it is quite simply a living, breathing, being “love”.
There was a day when a woman dimmed her inner light to that of a bare flicker, her healing powers to the invisible, her creations to the hidden and she had to show the world a selflessness that led to pain, resentment and depression.
Now we can shine, so brightly as to rekindle this same flame in our men…. Time to lead from heart and let the brain sit back a while…
Love,
Andrea
PS i hope that you like these quotes; they struck a cord with me
“She is free in her wildness, she is a wanderess, a drop of free water. She knows nothing of borders and cares nothing for rules or customs. ‘Time’ for her isn’t something to fight against. Her life flows clean, with passion, like fresh water.”
― Roman Payne
“I was an adventurer, but she was not an adventuress. She was a ‘wanderess.’ Thus, she didn’t care about money, only experiences – whether they came from wealth or from poverty, it was all the same to her.”
― Roman Payne, The Wanderess
“She was a free bird one minute: queen of the world and laughing. The next minute she would be in tears like a porcelain angel, about to teeter, fall and break. She never cried because she was afraid that something ‘would’ happen; she would cry because she feared something that could render the world more beautiful, ‘would not’ happen.”
― Roman Payne, The Wanderess
I recorded this blog on Sunday; and am only getting it up now several days later.
Life feels full of “feeling” these past weeks; emotions, tiredness, heaviness, memories, a sense of “I’m going to hold on, to what I don’t know, this all feels painful and I want to let go”. A desire that is so strong to let go of everything and yet like a re-birthing the memories and words and emotional scars are coming right through me.
I have become acutely aware of the words in my head that are judgemental, self-critical, and of how I beat myself back into a pathetic small person that is almost apologising for breathing. I am beating myself down and I am watching the nonsense of it all and I know in every part of my being that it is time to let go. I thought i had been doing better than this!!
Everyone is tired; not just me. Every amazing woman that I know seems to be feeling something deep stirring inside and it wants to move right through and out of the body like a shedding of skin. I sense that the tiredness is the holding on to what is no longer purposeful and ways of ‘doing’ what no longer ‘works’. As we fight against what wants to release and block the allowance of all that is new coming our way, we quite simply feel exhausted and STUCK in the middle of the tug of war.
Perhaps it quite simply is time to let go. No ceremony, no need for a moon dance or ritual…. perhaps it is time to just hand this all over now; its purpose is done, the lessons have been learnt, and “you are ready” for what is next: a life filled with love and great adventures.
Are you feeling this unease in your body right now too? It is so hard to describe this feeling. I want to literally leap out of my body because it doesn’t feel like mine; I have always felt this way. My sensitivity means that often I am feeling the world (others) in my body as well as my journey and story (yep I feel a lot some days and I know I am not the only one, for we are all connected).
If others are feeling this way I just want to share my heart and show you that it is full of love for all my fellow sisters. I would never wish anyone so beautiful as you (yes all of you!) to feel this pain in your hearts. So perhaps in my words you will see the insanity of the battle we wage against ourselves to keep ourselves small. I see it in almost daily, in every client that walks through my door; beautiful women beating themselves back down into small.
The past weeks I have been feeling a bit like I am hanging on to a cliff with my finger nails. Are you doing this too? Feeling like you are holding on to making yourself small, beating yourself down, punishing yourself in your head and playing the old stories that you learnt when you thought you must have been the one that was “wrong” when in fact it was others that couldn’t handle your light and so projected their shit on you.
Did you carry this story as your truth all of your life? Your excuse to stay small? Making sure that you felt broken, never enough for anyone most especially our mothers. Did you internalise all your words as well as the pain sensed from your mother? And every negative emotion that you sensed from others? Was this our excuse?
Was it easier to play small than to be the child that you truly were? A perfect and beautiful child with special and unique gifts? When you shone did others direct envy and jealousy your way such that you found it easier to doubt yourself and put yourself back into a box? Did you get lost in a battle of two sides between being afraid to excel in life because others held envy against you and on the flip side trying to do things perfectly because you never felt good enough to be loved.
What did you feel then? Stuck? Confused?
It’s tiring isn’t it? And a tad insane to keep doing this when it clearly isn’t working in our favour when we have this mega sense of purpose and passion brewing up and we keep trying to stuff it all back into the “who me? No I’m small and pathetic box. I’m waiting for someone to give me permission or a signpost from the universe that is so big it smacks me in the face”. If only I sigh; I’m out of patience waiting too!
I have been feeling all of this too. Only my battle now is with my old self and the one that is blossoming. I am afraid to be what I sense I am because a part of me is waiting to feel supported. And yet the only one that can support myself is me; in changing how I view myself and giving myself the permission to be free, I then change everything.
I believe that many women walk a Path that is similar; but different! I see that we often take the path that is more difficult in order to undo the old and then not only heal and grow ,but teach others with the love and compassion gained on this journey. None of us regret the Path to where we are; we just struggle to leave it go. Why?
Seeing yourself and all your scars opens your eyes to see that everyone is astonishingly perfect.
“Every story and experience is one that inspires me.
People ask who is my hero/ heroine; I don’t have ONE…
I have many and they cross my path every day in my clinic and life… normal people… normal people being so brave in a world and life that is not easy.
People like you…..it is you that inspires.
So why am I (we?) clinging on to the cliff of the pain and past with our finger nails when perhaps the fall is into the bosom of our Mother – our true Mother – that energy of the universe through to the stars and beyond that connects us all in star-dust and blood.
Why do we fear to feel strong?
Have you ever considered that dieting makes you weak, punishing your body makes you weak, negative words make you weak, playing small and being submissive makes you weak, not following your joy makes you weak, putting yourself second / last makes you weak. And I don’t mean physically weak I mean energetically, emotionally, and spiritually weak. There is little left inside; everything feels like a battle then to protect that last bit of light that is inside. Your light, that is waiting to shine!
… are we afraid to be strong from within? Can you get a sense of that inner power that comes right from your core? Deep within? It’s a little scary isn’t it? Because what then?
It is in our nature to be strong.
This strength is in allowing, being, loving, giving, honouring.
It is a silent strength that gives you permission to shine.
What IF we just allowed this strength?
It feels like an unharnessed wild horse and it wants to run, and play, and kick out a little…
and find the herd and run with the herd.
It wants to feel the wind whispering,
the solid ground beneath fast feet,
and strength in every sinew and muscle…. to run free.
I don’t know where my herd is yet; and some days this makes me feel sad in my heart. BUT… I trust in the reasons for this as the universe pushes me a little more to blossom into myself. Perhaps you feel the same; trust that your soul sister supporting family is close by. Feel anticipation of her arrival into your life.
We must be strong now and shun the rules of society that encourage us to clip our wings and doubt ourselves. I mean for god-sake clothes don’t even allow a woman to have a woman’s figure these days, the beauty industry has made cosmetic surgery and botox the norm, we are afraid to leave the house without make-up, etc. It is a nonsensical system based on taking any sort of self-esteem away from women and we not only let it, we get lost in judging oursleves against it! While women the other side of our reality in a world less fortunate struggle just to feed their children, secure work, and afford to buy any clothes at all. What have we let our society degenerate into? But enough of that rant 🙂
“Feck ideals… they are nonsense.
We must be strong and fly in the face of the society that has created all these rules about what is perfect. We can now undo the control (which we launch at ourselves), show the world that beauty is being able to love ourselves and nothing more.
Start to really see the beauty in other women.
We MUST stop the self judgment… Because then we emanate an energy the exact opposite out to other women, when they then too feel safe, nurtured and accepted in our company: TRANSFORMATION is this simple.”
Allow yourself run free now. I too am somewhat afraid of all this energy that is surging through my veins as I let go of what tires me; as I do my best to bravely accept in what wants to come into my life, as well as empowering myself with the very words I gift my clients.
What if we let ourselves be strong, and then got used to how weird this feels. What would we achieve?
What would we achieve if we embraced our strength?
The whole world around us would change because we would give it permission also to be strong; as well as change how we are seen. We will have support mirrored back; just like the new-found strength that will see us walking tall with our heart energy shining out and our little souls singing.
So, today I am going to be brave;
I am going to let go of how I taught myself to see myself (fat and useless… such a boring story really; no heroism just a sad tale of a light trying to turn herself off).
I am going to connect with you also, today and every day; let’s walk bravely together.
Let’s allow the strength re-ignite within us all.
Let’s allow the cells in our tired bodies permit this energy to flow freely through the whole body and bring her back to health and vitality.
Lets allow the fires of inspiration, confidence, and loving feminine power shine out….
Let’s shine so brightly that the world takes notes… and smiles back…
Because she’s been waiting for us to remember.
I love you all; let us all together embrace, nurture and support the divine light in every woman. Especially those that don’t understand us and want to knock us back into our small boxes. These are the women that need our love and belief more than ever; even if it is from a distance. We aren’t here to rescue the world if it hurts us.
Let’s hold each and every one of us dear; each and every body precious. The more self-love that you can direct inwards, the more light that shines outwards; and so the healing light shines brighter and brighter.
And if you struggle to love your body on some days, then perhaps take a step back and see that she has never let you down; for all the nasty words we have told ourselves our bodies have continued to breathe and survive. Perhaps when you start to see all that you are and all the you have been gifted; with gratitude for all that you are, you will truly thrive and experience an energy and wellness that you have never known before.
The body is an AMAZING thing. Some days when I am running I ponder how incredible a miracle my body is as I run along and listen to the birds or the movement of water in the rivers and streams and my body is allowing all of this with its gazillion tasks all going on at once; while I am quite simply running. And then today I said to my body:
“Hello body… I am sorry. I speak to you some days so awfully and yet there you are, by my side, never letting me down, housing my soul. What if I connected right back with you and felt strong and allowed this strength to course through my veins”
.... as powerful as the river Shannon I was running beside and yet as subtle as the meandering course she takes back to the ocean. Imagine that power and strength put into the flow of life. And for a moment I sense what it is to be me and alive.
We must allow this sense of life and love to course through our veins once more; however we may choose to feel alive… I think we owe it to ourselves now to do it.
“to form, give, or have an opinion, or to decide about something or someone, especially after thinking carefully”.
these last words, after thinking carefully are what our society seems to have forgotten, and judgemental opinions fly left, right and centre before we include acceptance, empathy and education into the equation.
We form judgements about ourselves, others, different cultures, different religious beliefs, different ways of doing things, different ways to learn, different ways to live and sexual preferences, different fashion choices and forms of expression, about our governments, celebrities (who really gives a shit), and so the list goes on and on and on.
It seems we want to have an opinion about everything instead of accepting the wonderful cacophony of our world and all the diversity that this brings. Without difference the world would be a very boring place. Without opening our minds to new ways to do, be, live, love, earn money, give gratitude, and express ourselves within our bodies our world would be a very boring place and our minds would be stagnant by the time we reach our teens…. it is good to have variety, contrast, opposition, and to some degree conflict because it should push us to grow as people, and to embrace and accept this amazing and colour-filled world.
I recorded this message this morning to provoke you to gain more awareness about those little judgemental thoughts that rise in our minds and deplete our energy and vitality.
Unfortunately my flow was broken by my alarm and my part II was a dud recording that had to be retaken. So I may have omitted parts of the first take; I apologise.
My wish is that you free your mind up to even more in letting go of the internal and external judgements, comparisons against others, and obsessive competitiveness and instead open your energies to living and experiencing an even fuller and more rewarding, happy and peace-filled life.
Much love;
Andrea
I see people,
People in all walks of life,
Just doing their best.
What if we saw into the heart beneath the pain,
The fear behind the words,
The vulnerability behind the threat?
What if our compassion gave people the strength,
To let the walls fall?
Hello ladies (and fellow-men that wish to understand your ladies),
The energies have been intense, the feelings within of frustration, energy fluxing from anger-high bubbles to depressed-fatigued lows; and the sense wanting to break free are overwhelming.
Even I am struggling a little to simply allow these feelings flow through as information about the world outside of me and also within me. Information that stirs me within to reach out and connect with you.
we are all connected; especially women
So as prompted by the energies speaking through me I recorded this blog yesterday. Please listen and then read on.
Normally when I write a blog or record a message the feelings pass; they are done. I have created from what I have been given and I can move on to the next. And yet this morning I woke with feeling it all again.
Journeys in Healing 