There will be a right time to let go………..when you are ready.
“There will come a time when it is safe to release the wounds deep in your being. Those wounded feelings that have been held safe in your body waiting for a time when you are both wise enough and strong enough to set them gently free.
And when that little bird wants to fly; let her fly….”
Sometimes deep emotional wounds surface many years later (when you are an adult and think you have it all together and often times when least expected). They feel somewhere deep in the body like a panic attack, immense fatigue, depression, pain or in a (seemingly real) physical ailment. They niggle and when touched on bring up immense feelings of something very deep and unknown. Far better be it to carry on being busy, doing, exercising, achieving, motoring on or medicating…..But the sense of something deep doesn’t go away.
Then one day, with little nudge or aggravation you will find that the tears fall or the anger explodes, the depression or fatigue starts to lift, and the raw nerves of deep pain and emotional experiences awaken….it is now time to let them free.
You don’t need therapy;
you are not broken.
There is no one that holds answers more true,
Go within now;
seek the wisdom of the experiences gained on your path thus far,
And with the love that you hold in your heart,
set free the inner child.
You always were perfect;
lovable, and doing the best that you knew.
Acknowledge this now.
You are growing;
stretching yourself past what was before,
into a new and expanded life with no fear.
You choose now to be all that you know deep down you are.
It can be a confusing time as emotions coming up to heal, especially as they often feel like sensations in your body. The mind will want to tell you that you are ill and that the pain is physical. Only you can decide now whether this is a physical or emotional pain and from here what to do.
You are YOUR healer; please never forget this or give your power away to another.
Only you know the choices that feel right for you; the answers that resonate as true for you; and when and how far to step forward on your healing path.
You may feel a raw tight knot in your guts, or a heavy pressure on your chest, pains in your throat, indigestion and pain right through your back; your lungs may tighten as if grasping for air or an anxiety may flow right through the body. These sensations are often the beginning of the release of the feelings that you had to stuff there when you were unable to deal with them many years ago. You are starting to release and heal now. The key is to follow that feeling thread and let it unravel to a time in the past that is now ready to be nurtured with the adult that you have now become.
Parent heal thy inner child….
I see often in the eyes of my awareness that the true pain presenting in my clients is that of a deeper emotional pain. A child or teenager does not have the emotional wherewithal to deal with traumatic or deep feelings at such a young and fragile age when events happened that were too large to deal with or understand.
So the feelings got stuffed down with the conclusion that there was no right or safe place to feel these feelings. There was no emotional intelligence to correctly interpret the circumstances in relation to the feelings experienced and often no one to talk to that could untangle the emotional confusion and illogical yet ‘logical’ child’s thinking process. Guilt and shame often got stuffed down into the body as many children felt bad for feeling these emotions in the first place. After all weren’t Mum, Dad or important peers always right? And weren’t all words uttered correct and true?
The child wrongly believed that they had no right to feel as they did. For the sensitive child the trauma can be significant and highly damaging to their emotional development.
Look back at that young child and realise that the feelings and emotions they felt at that young age couldn’t possibly be understood and were logically misinterpreted into conclusions of inadequacy, not trying hard enough, not saying the right things, failing to do, be, say, or look the right way or a never ending stream of other less than beneficial options. Basically the child feels that they are broken, wrong and never enough……….and so take this forward with them into life. Often many times recreating damaging relationships to affirm their beliefs over and over again and further quench their self-esteem. All the while appearing to the world to be highly functioning happy achieving adults.
So, some day it all finally becomes too much and the running and doing and achieving and trying so fucking hard to please everyone feels pointless, shallow and like you are suppressing a part of you that so yearns to come out and play. Or you feel so lost in a depressed haze of feeling numb that it’s just too much to continue this way. You sense there is more…. and there is.
So why not choose now to let go?
I cannot tell you the right way to set free the wounds of your past. I can only include my own experiences and suggest to you some strategies and also encourage you that there are gentle ways to release stuck pain or negative beliefs and beating yourself up patterns. And if my words fail then please seek experts advice and/ or read more on the topic. I have written up some resources here No 31 is especially insightful for those that struggled in the family set up.
1. First and foremost slow down. Stop trying to be perfect; stop the endless doing and being and moving and whatever you do that is your chosen diversion and addiction be it work, exercise, cleaning and tidying, eating, not eating, shopping, gambling, drinking, being a perfectionist, and so on. Whatever it is that dulls your mind and numbs your body stop doing it and become present with your metaphorical naked self.
It is crucial too to be kind to yourself. You did the very best that you could at the time.
2. Immerse yourself in nature; sit by the sea or running water, walk in a forest, breathe in the clean air of the mountains, take your shoes off and plunge your feet into the earth, or sit in your garden or local park. Slow your mind and allow you thoughts to wander and your feelings to just be.
3. Animals provide wonderful love and healing. Spend time with your pets or sit in the abundance of birds and animals in the Great Outdoors.
4. Connect back to yourself. Let the body sensations ‘talk’ for want of a better description. Follow the feelings and allow your mind to travel back to where the body sensations take you. Then with awareness of the adult that you are; heal the younger you. Love, nurture, forgive, set free. Do what it is that feels right for you to set free the emotions trapped. Know that it is safe to do so now and at a pace that you determine.
5. Consider any of the following as supportive in your journey: music, sound therapy, singing bowls therapy, art, meditation, journaling, creativity, baking, gardening, meditation, talking with someone close, energy healing, aromatherapy, reflexology, body therapies or whatever you are drawn to.
I personally love energy healing essences, aromatherapy and spending quiet time alone in sunshine or when sunshine is not available then I wrap myself up outdoors where I let my mind take me to where it is that it needs to go.
5. Understand that there is no one to blame. As best you can take a step back from the world and see that every single person is doing the best that they can in life with the skills and tools that they have. They all have been on a journey; and many simply don’t have the awareness or skills to be any place other than where they were/ are in their actions and words.
If we teach ourselves to see purely into the eyes of another,
And saw soul….
If we started to realise that we are ALL here living life;
That we are all “just doing our best”.
If we began to see the world with compassionate eyes;
And let go of judgments…..
If we saw that the first place to forgive is ourselves,
The first person to love the one in the mirror
Then I believe that our world would be a richer place….
A child sees no difference; taken by my brother Ali.
6. Know that you are strong enough to be the bigger person…. in your own time.
Remember that life is all about experience and growth,
and that all power resides in you and the choices that you make.
You now own your destiny……..
I wish you well on your journey
PS. I truly hope that my rambling writings help and that I can use every experience in my life to better and grow not only myself but touch and heal at least one other.
I believe that we all hold the power to make a difference in this world as a result of the unique journey thus far travelled. Each and every one of us adding colour, light and life to this beautiful world. Each and every one of carrying a story to spread more love and hope.
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