I have been here in Reno, Nevada for exactly 58 days; the time has flown. I feel like I have grown as a person by 58 years; or maybe 58 hundred years. I have been up, I have been down, I have been inside out, and locked out. I have been right and I have been wrong and then I let it all go and I just was, am, and will be (as best I can).
Most of all I got lost and I allowed myself in that space between
to find myself
We hang on to our beliefs so desperately… until one day we realise that our interpretation of an event has us fooled about its truth. Let it go; it may have protected you once, and then it became your story, and more often than not this leads to great pain and suffering. Quit!
What matters now is that each day you are gifted with a fresh palette on which to create the art of your life…
Most things don’t really matter as much as we desperately cling on to them; and the things that truly do matter we most often miss because we get so caught up in our heads, and our stories, and our pain. STOP for a minute and have a look at what you are creating in your life. Is this truly your dream? Where has your dream gone? You are still deserving of it aren’t you?
Do you really want to exit this lifetime without believing in all that you dream, and without experiencing, loving, and feeling all that you are?
I believe faith is as simple as trusting that all is ok; there is a bigger plan for us and our job is to drop into our hearts and hear those whispers….
I don’t really know why exactly I ended up in Reno; only that it felt right. I had this feeling inside me for years, you know one of those restless ones that you were in the wrong place and you were meant to be somewhere else and that somewhere else I always knew was America. Only I didn’t know how, why, what, or see when it would be at all possible. And then I started to let myself dream and I listened to my intuitions and I worked on my meditations and then the opportunity showed up… and despite a million questions I took the leap. What had I to lose?
What intrigues me is that in so many meditations prior to my visit I have seen stories of the Native ways, and I have been drawn to learn and study the Native Medicine and healing herbs (as an interest). Isn’t it synchronous that I have found myself in a place steeped in Native history and abundant in sacred Native sanctuaries and with three local colonies the Washoe, Paiute and Shoshone.
Actually what is even funnier is that I am here as the result of a cup of coffee in San Diego back in October 2013. I was on my second day at an Integrative Medicine conference (IFIM) and for the life of me I have no idea how I came to ask the man behind me in a queue in a coffee shop for a coffee but I did (way out of my timid character; I honestly think that the universe nudged this one!). In fact he later told me that there were several people between us and I never even saw them! He saw something in me and my work and this has led me on a path to being part of a super opportunity here now in Reno…. This is how I met my good friend Darren, and the joke is that he ended up paying for the coffee I offered to buy him!
I love the area here; I feel so at home and the time zone and the cloud-free skies have my body in sync for the first time in my life.
I am sharing some of my experiences here these past two months, as my little light-bulb moments and experiences may reach out to someone struggling a little to find their path and ripple out some inspirations.
Where do I start?
Well, I go with the feeling. When I feel bright and bubbly and inspired and motivated I know that I am on track. If I feel heavy and lost, drained, or resisting the things I feel I ‘should be doing’, or if I am procrastinating, or in ‘pain’ in my body, or running away from work and tasks into things that are distractions such as mindless work, hunger with no appetite, or exercise with no drive, then I know that I am not listening to my heart or following what is right for me.
When I get stuck in my head and doing all the things I feel I should, or could, or must do; or when I go down the path labelled ‘trying to please everyone; or given my giant heart trying to ‘rescue everyone’ or when I take the path where I ‘least upset others because they may not like who I am’, or worse still (and we all do it), when I ‘blame others for what and why’, then I know I am off track.
At this stage in my life I have learnt to see the sunshine in the rain and the beauty in every soul; however it doesn’t stop me at times feeling lost and empty. It takes a lot of energy to live a life that is not the heartfelt path, or to live in fear of being all that you are. Which for me is a highly sensitive empath, intuitive and psychic; it feels impossible some days living in this painful world and feeling so much. Some days I hate how it beats my body up and how much I feel; especially when I have the other side of me which is logical, scientific and at the coal-face of health and research. I have to keep with it; I feel I have to hide this other side of me. Both parts feel split…..
It is tiring to hold yourself back in the fear that dreams don’t come true, or to waste energy in your stories and self-sabotage. It drains and depletes you when you give your whole heart to people and receive nothing back (because you expect it? or you have given too much? much too much, and more than even they need; quit rescuing and rescue yourself).
Because only you can give back to yourself; only you know what fills your soul and sparks your energy….when you can feel into that place of love; everything changes. This means absolute and unconditional love and acceptance for all that you are; body, mind, and spirit
…..accept your current body, your actual mind, your beliefs and intuitions. Accept every mistake in addition to every triumph, make peace with every regret and thank all experiences; for they are all positive. Trust that in every moment you did the best that you could do in that moment given where you were and what you knew…
You know deep down who you are and what you want…….
It’s simple, do what makes you feel happy, and what feels right…. This bring me on to the next page of my journey here; meeting Holly Riley.
Life is an adventure; keep your eyes open!
I know now, from experience, that when you ask you receive. On the days that you just cannot muster the strength to believe in your path; ask for support. And then keep your eyes open. Some call this the law of attraction although it is more complex than just writing a list of what you want and deserve; I do believe that what you put out you receive back however you must have a plan and you must believe in it. I highly recommend following the works of Esther Hicks channelling Abraham and for those of you that need a boost; this is so very beautiful:
So when the universe places people and opportunity in your path go with it!! When those special angels come into your life; hold the moment close and bathe in its preciousness. The universe gave me the opportunity to meet Holly Riley and I grabbed it! For once in my life I didn’t think that small little me wasn’t good enough; I knew I had more to learn from this incredibly inspiring and beautiful lady. Words that define a person create a box; I cannot do this to Holly. So I will point you in her direction and urge you to read her works and listen to her clips and to “start allowing”. I know that so much of what i have written here has been inspired by the path Holly is catapulting me along. Thanks Holly!
I am only starting on my course of “Allowing” with Holly and I am excited. I had no intentions of starting on another course or self-help xyz; however this next step feels right for me. This is how it should always be. AND I will add that my gut reaction was a NO; because sometimes the harder work creates a little anxiety and is the faster work where we can no longer hide in the stories and beliefs that we have created as a safety net for ourselves. We all have ‘stuff’; it makes life interesting wouldn’t you say? For a while anyhow; and then it is plain boring 🙂
And then an angel said “its ok to just be”
“Trust in the universe; trust so deeply in the process of life for others that you relax calmly in the center of your heart… quietly… knowing…. smiling at the process of life… trusting each upset to come with it’s own solution. Trusting each human to find their way… trusting that with all the chaos… there is order… trusting that your beautiful intuition can guide you without ever depleting ONE DROP of your precious hearts love and journey. This is what must happen for your dreams to manifest”.
These words from Holly hit me at the core of my heart.
Thank you Holly.
Here again is the link for Holly: http://hollyriley.com/
Grab the opportunities to learn and explore.
I am astounded at the good fortune I am having here in finding that the very scientists whom I follow in health and healing are right here in Reno; imagine that! It would seem that my move here seems to be defined by synchronicities. Some smart people would say that when you are in sync with life then synchronous meetings and perfectly timed events all start to line up. I know that there is some serious quantum physics defining our lives. I don’t have to completely understand it; it all seems perfectly ok for me to trust in the process.
So another significant meeting for me was in finally getting to meet Gary Buchanan in person. Gary is a very interesting man who has so many stories to tell. I have to admit that there was a lot of nodding on my behalf and the words ‘wow’ appeared from my mouth more than a few too many times as I tried to keep up with the discussions of cymantics, cosolargy, theology, energy healing, ancient history and the truths in Celtic, Hebrew and Egyptian mythology (and more). However, I am also a sponge for this and have this huge appetite to learn and experience and hey; you have to take your chances as they present as they don’t often present again. I guess this is why they call it the present!
I guess you could call me a truth seeker; I want to get right in and learn about spirituality, behind the mythology of our ancestors and religions, the complexities and simplicities of healing and about the human journey and soul path; this is all in addition to the simpler side of my career which focuses on medicine, functional and individualised medicine and nutrition, and elite sport and science. I have way more questions than I have answers and this no longer intimidates me.
“If you wish for good answers then you must ask great people!”
I have listed a few interesting links that can point you further in the direction of Gary’s work:
Here is a short cymantics clip from Gary’s YouTube channel to aid chakra balancing:
Through Gary I also had the good fortune to attend the sunrise service with fellow members of the International Community of Christ, Church of the Second Advent at Red Rock Consecrated Sanctuary in Antelope Valley north of Reno/Lake Tahoe. The service for me was very beautiful and profound and many of the teachings about cosolargy resonate with me.
However, being the person that I am, I will also step into my own learning journey and follow the path that feels right for me. This involves learning and asking questions and interpreting this into my own personal path of spirituality. Within each of us I believe is a spiritual practice that resonates with us; I have never been one to be dictated to by religion. I believe that truly the answers are within… We seek truth… and we already are truth. We all find this truth in different ways via different routes; never let anyone tell you otherwise.
I had the opportunity to learn more about the work of the explorer and leader of the International Community of Christ in Reno; Gene Savoy and to meet his son Sean Savoy. I also was fortunate to meet many highly interesting people. Here are some clips that you will enjoy:
And here is a clip of a documentary film called Eat The Sun.
This documentary is fascinating. I know personally speaking that I feel better in myself, more energised, and more connected when I am in the sun; I have always been aware of this even back in Ireland. Here in Reno I am blessed to be in one of the sunniest places in the USA and at altitude and when possible every day I will lie out in the sun in bare feet (this is important), no matter how cold it is for several minutes and absorb her rays. I do not subscribe to the HRM method of sun gazing might I add. I do believe that the sun’s energy is something to be respected and I recommend if you are to sun watch perhaps seeking further information about the techniques from the school of cosolargy.
Dr. Joseph Mercola speaks here about sun gazing and health which may interest you http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2009/01/08/feasting-on-sunshine.aspx.
Give thanks, pay it forward, and be grateful.
Life has taught me how to sit calm, more or less in any storm. Life has also shown me that home is in your heart and not a specific place. This has been a great source of comfort to me as I have moved and travelled about a lot and never truly felt settled in the past. Home truly is a feeling from within; the rest is just stuff.
There is a lesson to be learnt and a beauty to be seen in everything. Open your eyes; watch the people who pass you by. Notice things. Take the opportunities to meet new people and share part of your day with your smile and kind words; it makes a difference.
You have one shot at today; love living it!
A wonderful friend of mine, that has been of tremendous insight and support to me from afar while I have been in Reno shared these profound words with me this morning and so I am sharing. [James has also put me onto a new water technology that I am trialling; if you would like to follow more of how I am treating the water here (which is full of arsenic and mercury FYI) please read here: http://www.naturalactiontechnologies.com/ and I can put you in contact with James should you like to learn more].
“Be an observer and let truth resonate in your heart. That is your path to understanding what is and what is more possible. Many are influenced by some kind or faith or religion. It is mans interpretations. Take the good, that is truth and add it to the puzzle of your life journey. Don’t give up, persevere and share with others. They need the light too. Whether they accept it or not, is not your responsibility. Live your life and don’t let others live it for you. …
Life challenges are given to help us grow and mature into a higher love. Enjoy your New Day, Every Day. Take care of your body temple; it is your vehicle to experience Life…… James Triplett
Be opening to lessons of personal challenge and growth; I mean really open!
Life truly is a series of experiences and opportunities that lead to joyful living. How we feel, comes from a decision within us. And what Holly has opened my eyes to the fact that life is also dictated by what we give our focus and awareness to. How we feel in our lives is not dependent on others or events around us.
This is an infinite path; a journey. I am never there and I am there all the time…. if I so choose. Or I can dig a hole and stay stuck. I choose to grow.
The highlights for me on this journey in particular have been finding a soul friend that taught me some hard and tough lessons; my friend was a gift from the universe to wake me up and shake me up in a very deep and profound way (and I for him!). I was challenged to the core of my being to accept all that is and to accept all that I am. And to come from a place of love that is without condition, judgment or expectation. In fact I would say that these type of soul connections are the hardest most bleeping infuriating task masters ever; because they are in our face and the universe finds a way to force us to work stuff through to the end. When quite possibly we wouldn’t have listened to anyone else and got it! Sometimes we need tough love to toughen up.
I learnt to use my voice, and when to hold back; to set boundaries and when to move them; to speak my truth or when to know my truth; when to maintain the walls that have kept me safe most of my life and when to dissolve them; when to overcome my fears and speak up and when to allow my fear and to let it pass. I was forced to accept my challenges and my safety patterns and to then work on letting them go; I was forced to look in and see what negative thoughts and beliefs remained when I thought I had let them go; and most of all I am learning every day to accept and be myself.
Not every one believes that they are sufficiently strong to come through this process; yet they are. Everyone has this flower in their hearts waiting to unfold and heal. To shed past and pains and beliefs…. and to forgive and hold a deep love and respect for everyone in their personal journey.
For me I am finally learning to accept that I am highly sensitive and empathic and that this is ok. I am safe. Both Darren and Holly and close friends to me (thank you Vaiva, Deirdre, James, Mum and Dad) are guiding me in learning to let all the emotions and feelings (within me and from people and the world) flow through me now and embrace and accept it. No more fear, no more worrying about what it is I am feeling and why; just letting it be so.
In my journey I have also learnt how to see into everyone’s pure hearts through all their dramas. It is beautiful to see this; overwhelming at times and I now know it is safe to love BUT… only when I love myself first as then my cup is full and it is ok to love and be love. Then nothing can be taken from me; there is no hurt because to love ourselves unconditionally means that no one can hurt us now.
We often as human beings run from the hard stuff, cast blame, judge, give excuses, and RESIST. Many times people will come into your life and test you; and part of the test is determining is this someone who has crossed your path to illuminate you and permit healing OR are these people who you really don’t benefit from and so are best moving away from. Regardless of what you want to think of this person; try to just see through into their hearts and behind the words and behaviours. More often than not what we see in someone is what we mirror in ourselves. Strive to see the goodness and accept a person for where they are in their own unique journey.
The more you can be accepting of who they are and loving within your own heart then the more you will move mountains around you.
When one sees beauty in the smallest of things in addition to the more obvious things and also sees beauty in EVERY person… it says a lot about where you are in your life. See their soul and tell them silently that …. “I see YOU”.
I have had an amazing opportunity for growth here in the past months and to stretch my limits. I have also had the chance to get my butt back training in the superb facilities at Southrac gym. My strength is back up and my body fats are down. Within the gym there is a state of the art wellness centre taking shape and all going well I will be back to be a part of this. Drum roll….. 🙂
The centre currently offers Resting metabolic rate testing (RMR), VO2 and VO2 max testing, and body fat, cellular health and wellness markers testing. In addition to Chiropractic and soon nutrition, functional medicine and well maybe some of the other stuff that I use to help a client on their path. This is just the beginning too; I am so excited to be involved!
I have had my own VO2, RMR and BodyStat tests done and they sure have helped me out regarding my diet and training. And explained a few issues I have had with faintness while training. I also learnt that I have superior fitness potential; nice! So for the past months I have been doing a lot of study and research which I will be applying to the programmes we will be using for clients. Complete health and wellness, ideal body composition, and individualised training and nutrition plans will be made so easy for all our clients!
The most powerful and amazing transformational moment for me here however was when I had the opportunity to do a photo shoot with my friend Darren. Darren is not only a Doctor of Chiropractor (whom I will be working alongside), but also a photographer specialising in modelling and landscapes.
I never in my life dreamt that I would have the confidence to do a full photo-shoot in nature; and here is the crunch naturally! However who am I to knock back a great opportunity and challenge.I think that there is an inquisitive adventurer in us all; and when we stop challenging ourselves and live in a safe zone; life feels dead and boring. We are here to party folks! For some this may be jumping out of planes and all things adrenaline and kudos to you! For others like myself, wired a little differently, it may be the smaller things that give us that adrenaline kick and that’s cool too. The secret is to keep living, exploring and adventuring; and don’t wait for anyone else to give you permission or make you do it. You could be waiting a long time feeling unhappy and frustrated. As a smart advertising campaign says:
So, off we went on a sunny Saturday in February to Pleasant Valley, Reno and we spent several hours in the sun hiking around the lake and finding awesome places to shoot (ahem…. me).
I never in a million years thought that I would feel comfortable so exposed to myself never mind somebody else! However in summary I will say the following about my experiences in my photo shoot:
Darren is an amazing photographer.
I was completely relaxed in myself as Darren was always focused on the photography while being mindful of how comfortable I was.
The feeling of the sun on my skin was therapy (and possibly did wonders for my vitamin D levels!)
Once I started to feel comfortable in myself I was able to just let go and feel free.
I was astounded to see my body and how I looked in the photos once he had processed them. Nothing about my body was ‘air-brushed’; only blemishes and lighting was improved on.
I actually saw myself for the first time through the eyes of someone else and it blew me away. Finally I felt a sense of who I am and accepted this.
The experience was worth $$$$$$$$$$ in therapy regarding self-esteem and body image.
I recommend that every woman does something like this; I used to watch Gok Wan’s show on occasion and ponder on its transformational power for women’s self-esteem and now I have to admit that yes indeed it is a powerful process. Consider doing it!!
I also took it on board to do an exercise in learning about how people view me; because as we all know our minds tend to get in that way of us seeing ourselves clearly and truthfully. And then we use this as an excuse to hold ourselves back AND when we hold ourselves back we don’t do all that we are here to do.
I don’t think I can add the following words of inspiration from Marianne Williamson enough times to my blogs; read them and let them sink in!!
Our Deepest Fear
by Marianne Williamson
from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.”
I am sharing my words below because these words are for you also. I believe that we are all ONE, we are all connected and we all should see the beauty within us as individuals and as a collective. So please read this like the universe is speaking to you also. Consider adding to or amending this list; ask your best friend, your partner, your parents and your children; get them all involved. And also share with them what you see through your loving eyes…. this is a very powerful exercise.
- I have the hugest heart ever.
- I only want to help everyone.
- I am one of the smartest ladies that my friend knows.
- I have an incredibly unique knowledge that allows you to see health from a very diverse, outside the box way.
- I am very dedicated.
- I have great work ethics.
- I can see into people like hardly anyone can.
- I have a gift to help many that may never be helped otherwise.
- I only have love to give.
- I have incredibly beautiful eyes.
- I have a beautiful smile.
- I have opened up to new experiences of accepting my feelings and not covering them up as much. I have become more eager to allow changes for me. I am breaking out of my cocoon, which can be scary, but makes my possibilities endless. And I seem to be accepting that not being like everyone else is ok. And soon I will know that it is a blessing!
I was also given this advice: The one thing that can help me more than anything to reach my goals is to see my goals clearly, then write down each step with detail and then not be distracted from my course! (Ahem I am the queen of going off on a tangent). And to always remember the journey is the adventure. To feel that I have reached my goal could only mean the end. So always push my goals further and hang on for the ride of my life that I choose to create!!!!
Thank you Darren.
I had tears in my eyes reading this and then encouraged both by Darren’s and Holly’s words I wrote a 5 page essay on my goals; full of specific details and photos snatched from Google images.
I drew my plans out from A-Z…
The vision that is so strong in my heart is to build a healing sanctuary for people to come to and transform. A place that I will fill with my whole heart such that people leave having found themselves. I am not the healer I merely provide a place so completely filled with love, inspiration, beauty, and creativity that people (youths and adults) find themselves and set their first baby steps on their path.
Let the universal conspiracy of creation begin.
What are your dreams?
Follow the feeling and it shows you the path
Seek and you shall find
Ask questions and you receive answers
(and have more questions…..)
Dream and you plant a seed
Document your dream and you create a road map
Share your dream and the universe conspires to make it real
Allow and you will receive….
Love; and you will never regret
Play and the world is your playground
Smile; and the world becomes your mirror
Love your mother, creator and All that is…
See the heart in EVERY person
Have pride in every success
Grow in every challenge
And be the first to forgive…
Dance your dance, and others will join
Your footprints are unique; blaze your trail
Speak your truth and those that matter hear
Be yourself, the world needs ‘you’.
Live by ‘heart’
Lead by example
Be the change
Leap and you fly….”
I love you all…….
Never fear the journey; the universe has it in hand….flow with it and let go of trying to control it.
Reblogged this on Andrea Cullen and commented:
New one hot off the press and the most honest and open piece of work that I have written to date.
beautiful words from a truly beautiful soul, very moving xxxx
All I can really say is, stay tuned world! And if you are truly lucky and or smart, you will either join her from afar or even better in person on an incredible journey she has begun to enlightenment, knowledge and well being of life…:)
Andrea, it has been a joy to watch you grow and unfold as a beautiful Rose. You have been nourished by the challenges that life has to offer. The seeker of God’s Truth, He has planted within you to explore and bring forth into His world in Present Moments on your life Path.
You are writing a gospel
A chapter each day,
By words that you say,
Men read what you write
Whether faithless or true,
Say, what is the gospel
According to you?
Blessings, my dear spiritual daughter, to all your dreams and your own revelations.
You have just begun to see beyond the veil, of what else is Possible on this life journey and beyond.
All My Love, jim
Beautiful Andrea……..I know how much you deserve to be happy. I love the fact that you are following your dream………God bless you and the best of luck……John F
Heart gratitude for your loving and supportive words; this is what helps me to keep baring my heart in the knowing that it will help others. x
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