Have you read The Four Agreements by Don Miquel Ruiz? It’s a great little book; short, sweet and to the point. It certainly made me ponder many of my flaws and prompted me to work on them.
However this is always far harder in the real world, it is very easy to put ourselves in a personal growth and spiritual bubble (i.e. when we are reading the book we are in a calm, peaceful, thoughtful space) but in the fast lane of life we stumble and fumble around. This is as it should be; we are all only human after all. If it was easy, we would have little compassion for others.
One sticking point for many of us is making assumptions, which can then lead to harsh and inaccurate judgements. I see how easily we can slip into this every day.
We tend to jump headfirst in from a gut feeling, or based on someone’s behaviour, actions, or words; or even a feeling that we get about someone before we even meet them. Very few of us delve deeper to get to the core of what triggered us in the first place. Nope we go headfirst in with the assumption and some of us even crediting ourselves on our great skill in summing up someones character.
As a highly sensitive empath this is something that I have had to work VERY hard on; and still am. I am feeling people and their emotions all the time. But I cannot make an assumption on anything because I have grown to be aware that I can be sensing many things around them that can confuse and add layers to the picture I am sensing. For example, I may be around someone and they are angry, like a simmering pot. I could immediately jump to the conclusion that they are an angry person. But what if I am not sensing their anger but the anger that they have been subjected to in their lives. If I sense someone trying to control me or their environment, I could make an assumption that they are controlling but what if they are trying to cling on to the last piece of sanity in an unhappy and abusive relationship? An example for many of us that may not see deeper is the common story of being in the store and subjected to terrible customer service. We could (logically) make an assumption for ever and ever about the person and the store; but what if they just had some bad news or were worried about a loved one ill at home.
Music lifts the soul. In so many profound ways music connects us to heart, soul, memories, and emotions, people we love, have loved and lost, travel destinations, fun crazy nights out, and even more. We all have our music genre go to’s to match our moods. There is healing in music, clarity, energy, escape…..
I could go on, and what I really want to say is don’t belittle the enormity of playing that corny song that you were too cool for school to listen to as a teen…
Try it…..turn it up, be silly, and smile.
This had me smiling today in the car; a song that years ago I would have cringed at.
Walking on sunshine; because hey, it’s just one of those days here!
The past days I have been engaged in the most interesting of conversations with two of my close friends in sport, my fellow Endurance lab coaches, and my amazing boyfriend.
How are we different in how we approach a race/ competition?
What makes us perform better?
What are the driving emotions?
What strategies do we employ to get into the zone and attack a race?
I am more
Which is something that my coach Annchen Clarke understand and so plays to my strength and personality (and quirks).
What are our WHYs?
What matters most? The physical body, the mind and mental skills, or even determination and desire?
I am a thinker in my training(I probably drive people nuts); I really push into the gritty parts of what, why, how, and beyond. I want to toss the principles of it all around, the physiology, biochemistry, endocrinology, musculoskeletal and neurology pieces, what is happening, how can I improve and make my training time count the most, how does this apply to nutrition and health, and even more fascinating to me, how can I grow the strength of my mind; mental skills and mindset.
Sport is more than genes, more than talent, and more than just training; it seems to be this fantastic alchemy of the athlete, their body, their mind, their soul and how all of this is nurtured to be at its fittest and strongest.
I am all in to learn more.
I am into my fourth year of the journey now with triathlon and every year I feel I know and am more when it comes to not only me as a person, but me the professional supporting clients. I have learnt so many skills as a result of the goals that I have set at the start of each training year; because growth, learning, being stronger, having more discipline, consistency, curiosity, awareness and more are all on the list of my why’s for why I bother to show up every day and hit the green box in my training.
I guess you could say that training is creating my why’s and giving me no excuses for not applying them. You are either IN or you are OUT.
I know my bigger picture why’s; they are understanding people and supporting them to be all that they are. If I can understand people and the world better, and use all that I have experienced and learnt on my journey to empower you to come alive in health and vitality and happiness than I am happy.
My wish is to see my clients, friends and family, free from worry, pain, fear and all the emotions and road blocks that we set in our path blocking us from living a life that is free and flowing. If I can provide the nudge; and hand hold the first steps….imagine then…..
Today is June 26th 2018; we are in the midst of the most fantastic and glorious weather; an Irish “heatwave”.. I was up early and took the dog out for my run repeats into Annaholty bog.
There is no better place than nature to remind you of the deeper whys.
I was reminded today of the absolute privilege that it is to be healthy, to have freedom, to be fit, and to live in the most beautiful place in the world (when the sun shines!). This is my soul filled, this is my heart happy; this is me just being me.
I have linked some photos at the end.
I want you to think about your why’s.
Contemplate your why’s for sport, your why’s for health, your why’s for work, your why’s in life… sometimes we all need a nudge to reconnect to what is driving us and where we wish to arrive. It is not enough to get out of the bed and merely react all day; this will not satisfy our core being. Spend a moment to contemplate this; play around with the ideas and thoughts that come to you, observe and be curious. The energy of our whys can also differ greatly whether we are talking about work, sport/ health, or life. But remember, the strengths and skills gained in one area of our life can be pulled over and transferred into others. If you are feisty and committed in sport, why not in the corporate world and so on.
Understand that your whys also change and evolve as you grow. Where you are going is a place that feels good, it calls us, it draws us out of our fears and limiting beliefs. It asks us to be more. What are your why’s?
Get a pen to paper, or go for a walk or long run, play music, or simply sit under a tree and let your why’s unfold. Don’t try too hard.
My 800 speed track passed many confused farmers turning turf
Views across Annaholty bog
Beautiful Keeper Hill in the distance
Don’t forget that we all race our own race, ultimately.
Many athletes get stuck in the belief that MORE is better.
But we all have our own pace, distance and ways to challenge ourselves.
For some people merely getting out of bed pain free, or walking a kilometre is a miracle achievement.
Don’t measure yourself against others,
but by what you are capable of.
How we start the day tends to dictate how the rest of the day will continue; so this makes your morning routine the most important part of your day.
With your bigger picture goals in mind; take some time in the morning to start in a positive, focused, happy, and grateful mood. Build your energy with your morning routine rather than deplete it.
I want you to spend a little time pondering this. What do you do first in the morning, how does this make you feel, do you start the day reacting? Or being proactive? Do you know what you strive to achieve? Most of us have a good idea about what work, home and family stuff we must get done, but have you considered how your diet, training, and mindful space is going to be slotted in to the day?
It is good to have a rough plan; its ok to not achieve everything on the list, but having a draft in mind for what you wish to achieve, and what you must get done, means that generally it will happen at some point soon in time.
Why? Because the intention is set to achieve these things; and your subconscious is a pretty neat thing and so long as your goals are aligned with the direction that you wish to go then you will get there (sometimes the universe has its own route and schedule; this is ok too! Be open to diversions; these add substance to our whys).
I am not saying that you don’t have to put the work (action) in, as well as the planning (dreaming), but you need to know where you are going each and every day in order to get there. You also need to be aware of what habits and patterns sabotage your day.
Word of advice, don’t focus on the THERE, as much as you throw yourself in to enjoying EVERY PART OF THE PROCESS, the things that you write on your list of do’s are what build you and grow you; the foundations…. your list is the ‘life’ stuff; not the ‘have to’ stuff.
What does a perfect start to the day look like?
My day always starts best when I ignore the phone, enjoy a nice coffee, scribble my inspirations and thoughts into my journal, and write my list of the things I wish to achieve in the day. Funny, mine isn’t a to do list, it is a “what do I want to get done” list. There is a big difference; one is a chore, the other feels like a choice.
I aim to avoid social media and the news in the morning; I am only moderately successful and the avoidance of this intrusion into my morning head space is definitely linked with my mood going forwards.
I work daily to manage social media, rather than it manage me. In my observations social media creates a reactivity to my day, it scatters my brain, pushes me into an endless loop of feeling I must research xyz in relation to health, sports, and medicine as it hits me from various Twitters, LinkedIn, and Facebook posts, and basically changes my focus from what I want to achieve into a mindless scramble down a rabbit hole. It is also tiresome and frequently heavy in energy. Have you ever arrived at work pissed off just because of some argument in the invisible realm, or an endless stream of negatives on the 8am news? Generally neither directly relate to you, but you let them impact you; get it?
I WANT to be leading my day from my heart and intuition; not influenced from the outside. So although I need to know what is going on out there; I must also continue in my quest to be discerning. I believe social media to be a prime stress in our current lives. Be mindful of how much time you waste on it, how it influences your mood and how it pulls your strings.
Many peeps start the day listening to the news and reading the new-stream; how does this make you feel?
So #1 in a perfect start to my day, is ignoring my phone until I am ready to start work.
The best coffee of the day, is the first coffee. No coffee after this is the same! I enjoy my coffee, with the kitchen door open to let the day in. This happens pretty much year round; I scribble my journal, and write my day’s list. This may not happen every day; but the days I do are always the better for it.
So #2 in my perfect day is spending a moment with a pen in my hand and my thoughts in a flow.
My training is important to me, so I do this early in the day and before work; this sets me up, allows me quiet time in my mind which is crucial for me, and improves my energy for working with clients. I also sleep better when I train early.
I don’t know about you, the reader, but one gripe that I have with the ‘spiritual’ community is the use of highfalutin lingo, fancy words, posh vocabulary and frankly sometimes, boring overuse of pretentious exclusionary writing (there I did it all in one sentence!).
If you, like me, work with people, and have a heart-felt draw and ass kicked soul to be the healer, carer, supporter and leader for others, if you were gifted a good education; don’t forget who you are trying to reach: E V E R Y O N E.
Keep it simple, speak the language of the soul in simple terms, your presence and intention is truly what makes the difference. Reach everyone, the young, the old, the wealthy and the less fortunate. Soul journey knows no educational or financial boundaries.
Keep it so.
Remember, our desire to be elitist and special, is the ego a knocking to give us some more lessons. This path is full of curious and wondrous lessons; make yours reach many. If your eyes are open, you will see those that your reach must touch. How? Simply as a function of your turning up and living life. And having your eyes and heart open during the simplest of daily tasks; in the shops, on the streets, waiting at the school gates, in the coffee shop, at the checkout. GET IT?
Lead from heart, act in inspiration. Make the ordinary touch people with extraordinary.
For those of you interested in following the story of Blaze our rescue beagle here she is.
She LOVES bird feeding time; this is about the happiest that you will ever see her.
I still cannot get close enough to put a lead on her without significant trauma to her (so she has only seen our home and garden for the past months) but we are working on her getting used to what my hand moving near her with a lead is like.
She will however take peanuts from my hand, and she follows me around like a body guard but will still jump a mile at a sudden movement, and has days when I cannot get this close or get her in to feed her.
Some days blaze is frightened of a shadow and others she surprises me like on Sunday when she sat 1 foot from my feet while i was meditating!
She is a precious dog and the Dogs Trust have taken a very active role in supporting us as well as interest in her progress. She was apparently their worst case from the lab; most other beagles integrated faster. Blaze must have seen things that impacted her more seriously in her 5 years there.
we are so happy she is with us now I was sending this up to the dogs trust and thought that i would share.
Anger, don’t chuck at it at others and don’t accept it from others; and if it hits you take a moment to regroup and refocus and let it all go. There is no need for an angry person to ruin your day.
And if you are the angry person 😛😈 don’t skip around it and avoid it… figure it out, process the emotions, allow the feels to express the story of what you are holding within, thrash it about to get to its roots, do something to feel better and move on. Don’t lash it out at those you love.
(or if you are the angry driver that drove after me for no reason whatsoever yesterday to yell profanities out the window at the roundabout… good for you… I was laughing at your insanity and desire to ruin my day. It’s ok, maybe you had a bad day; and I can be compassionate about this; but I will not allow you to transfer it to me).