When stress goes up, often many of us play this out in food and diet.
We get a little bit more controlling, a little/ lot bit more judgemental and hard on ourselves, we set harder goals for weight and performance based on well… punishment and many of us feel a little more unsure in our bodies. the stress battle play out in the worst of internal battles… invisible to almost everyone in your circle except the most intuitive.
for the purpose of us being open, honest and supportive for one another… if it feels right. How do you manage this and rein it in? how did you move forwards… what advice would you give?
When all form of control and certainty leaves us and overwhelm sneaks up; we often subconsciously start to control in other areas. It is human nature.
With practice we can become better to catch ourselves, laugh it off with ‘here I go again’ and quickly shift focus to exploring, learning and growing more positive life skills and strategies.
Me? I am not ashamed to say that I did have my struggles (in the past). It makes me real and helps me to understand other people’s struggles and obsessions and quirks. Sometimes I forget about it all as I have pushed it all back into the past; I tend to forget the level of anxiety that lived with me permanently, and the control and neurosis. It was, I realise now, all a coping skill. I guess it good to forget but I don’t want to either so that I know how it feels for others.
So how did I manage to recover from a serious eating disorder and hours and hours of forced exercise?… I just fought and looked forward to knowing a place of peace had to be at the end of the desire to be better balanced and healthy. I made small change after change to pull things into better balance; I wrote a journal and in it listed all my dreams for the life that I wanted…. all these little dreams, goals and changes add up, they all start to make a difference.
Please know that it is possible to get to a better place if you want to and set that intention and keep reminding yourself of why it matters and that you can. Don’t be too hard on yourself it can take time; and it is a journey and you can and are doing it.
Never quit on yourself; the breakthrough may be just around the corner.
Here are some tips based on what I find to be helpful when I start to self-judge and self-sabotage.
- Start to connect to your emotions: WHAT ARE YOU AVOIDING TO FEEL?
- Start to catch yourself being controlling; THE CONTROL IS NORMALLY A DIVERSION FROM WHERE YOU FEEL OUT OF CONTROL.
- Switch your focus.
- Address your balance in LIFE as well as training; when the balance goes and we don’t let ourselves play enough in life often we start to get a little more obsessive in training and food.
- Be kind in training; put the foot down on self-sabotage and self-punishment.
- Practice being mindful and aware….You can do a training run completely in your judgmental head or you can do it in your heart connected to life.
- Be light-hearted about your quirks; laugh and say “oh there I go again… funny… ” and then switch focus to something more positive if it’s not in a good place.
- Make strengths out of your perceived weaknesses; we are all a little weird and we are all certainly very different. Stop worrying about what others think or comparing yourself.
- Stop doing the things in life that make you miserable; make changes…..
- Stop seeing yourself as a helpless victim.
- Learn about yourself. You are different; embrace this.
- Avoid the desire to be strict in your diet. Limit self-imposed rules; they are never going to fix the real problems or make you feel any better in the long-term.
- Eat well; stress demands that we improve nutrition and also feed the soul. Make food tasty and fun; eat with friends.
- Don’t let yourself go hungry. Many battles with the self are fought on an empty stomach or after a ravenous over-feed.
- Wait a few moments before you eat when feeling stressed or emotional. IE avoid going from the car to the fridge.
- Avoid fad diets or excuses to be strict and controlling.
- Spend time in nature and with loved ones and furry friends.
- Talk it out, write or out, play music and dance it out; or throw paint on a canvas and express the emotions out.
- Do something totally different that challenges you and grows your self-esteem and that is preferably creative.
Your worth is NOT dictated by a number on the scale. Set different goals, e.g. free mind in running, managing stress when you feel anxious, swimming without a watch, finding flow on the bike…. avoid obsessing in numbers, graphs and sticks to beat yourself with…
Explore your beliefs and perceptions and the standards that you set yourself in order to be “good enough”
please continue the chat in the comments if you feel nudged; your tips may help another.
PS I make a range of plant and tree essences that can be very helpful to our emotional balance.