How to heal hurt and pain….you are far stronger than you realise.
Hello amazing souls,
This is a quick post. I am dumping a lot of soul into the unsaid and hope that you can feel in your hearts what I am trying to convey. That said I always seem to write more content than time permits!!
Many of us carry emotional pain.
I wanted to give you a helpful nudge about a quick way to release emotional pain and emotional grief. Many of us, and especially the highly sensitive and empathic persons, have come through life with many scars. Scars that can often lead to us wanting to jump from feeling, and to avoid people and life. Trust is lost in the safety of this world and life becomes about existence and survival.
Avoiding ‘feeling’ and pushing away ‘life’ is not being alive,
Remember your strength and jump back in…Live!
Words, memories, incidents, traumas, negative relationships with family, friends and lovers and many experiences that created hurt have been lodged in the depths of our bodies. Often we dissociate from feeling these emotions, and so in our numbed out state we are oblivious to the energetic memory held in our bodies. For others the past can feel so much more present and impacts daily life. We are still playing the CD record of the past in our minds, bodies, and beliefs. And when the trauma of the past lives on it will impact the present and future.
Many seek guidance and counselling to deal with the past when it presents challenges in our daily lives. CBT and talk therapy for example may be attended for issues such as low self-esteem, poor finances, troubled relationships, anger, depression, and so on. To shed light on the past is positive; to relive it not so. If you think about it, talking about our problems creates a heavy negative feeling in our bodies because we are reliving the emotions and feelings. Not all of us need to go back in time to heal; it is the NOW (be present; see past incidents with fresh eyes, empathy, understanding and forgiveness) and the FUTURE (positive visualisation, re-scripting) that is more relevant if we wish to experience life to the happy-full-brim. Anyhow less about the heavy stuff and more about a simply technique to improve how you feel.
Today in the car on my way back from my run, I had a quick blast of Bruce Lipton from my learning MP3 collection. He discussed the fact that every time we talk about the past and our “story” and the hold that the past has on us, we relive it. Far better to refocus and shift our thoughts to the new, the now, and the future.
It takes time and patience to create new beliefs
and to see life without the prejudice of our old perceptions. To restore faith, belief, and positivity takes effort
and practice and it so very worth it.
Some days we get a blast of emotional pain; and it can feel from out of no where. No matter how strong we think we have become or how far we may have journeyed, some days we get a reminder to forge on. People, places, family gatherings, words, and even smells can throw us back into an uncomfortable space; like a trigger.
If you are body aware you will know exactly where it hits you. If not, then spend a moment to see where you feel this emotional memory. Often the sensations will be felt in the stomach or abdomen, chest, or lungs; sort of like a tightness, pressure, knot or as a real symptom like nausea, pain, anxiety, diarrhoea, asthma, or shortness of breath.
It is good to bring an awareness into your body and to spend a moment, if you can, recognising how you feel. For some this may not be possible as you may already have left the building so to speak and numbed out your feelings. This is ok. To cry also is ok; in fact it is wonderful.
So what then?
Well the best thing we can do then is:
to let it go
by doing something that frees this blocked energy
and makes you feel happy
Surely it cannot be that simple?
Yes it can.
The minute you shift your focus to doing something that creates a release of energy from your body and makes you feel happy you have altered your biochemistry, and hence how you feel both in your body and emotionally.
So what to do?
This is a little more individual so I am giving you a loving nudge to explore this a little in your own time and find what works for you. I believe that four pivotal actions are greatly helpful:
- Connecting to your surroundings (especially if you can be in nature)
- Calming the mind into a state of “just being”
For example last night and this morning I went through some ‘stuff’. At first I didn’t know how I felt because I did what I learnt as a kid which was that I numbed out, distanced from people (emotionally as well as physically 😦 ), and held my solar plexus covered (to protect me from feeling more). I am not saying these are positive strategies; they are just what I learnt growing up and are now instinctive if I don’t catch myself. Then as I started to feel again last night I let the tears run and cried myself to sleep, and this morning I felt such raw emotions that I felt like I could barely breathe.
Everything felt heavy in me and I knew that I could wallow in it and feel alone, or I could take responsibility for how I felt and change it (I cannot just keep pushing everyone away from me). So I did the latter. I took myself to the place where I feel safe and connected; Keeper Hill, and I challenged myself with a nice little 10km hill run.
The challenge of the ascent stopped my mind as everything had to focus on breathing and pacing. I found my rhythm and let the body work. I was not running away from anything as I was present and connected with myself. I worked my way to the first summit and then let my body flow down the descent. The air felt so pure in my lungs from the trees, I thanked them, I reminded myself to feel grateful, and I allowed myself to breathe some very deep lung breathes right into my belly.
It felt like I was letting go, of everything! I was surrounded by stunning nature and her gentle buzz of the wind in the trees, tumbling water from the mountain streams, and birdsong from the tree tops. I left my emotional pain on the mountain and refilled my lungs and body with ‘life’.
I know that I had my mind focused on being present because I saw the universe speaking when she showed me two lovely symbols; butterflies accompanied my run on more than one occasion, which is rare in Autumn, and a colourful Pheasant for the second time in 12 hours. Maybe I am daft but I believe that Nature speaks in her own language. If you notice symbols, unusual animals, or repeating and unusual signs/ dreams then a quick Google search (for example spirit animal or totem animal) can be interesting and fun, and highly insightful.
So, what will work for you?
I do believe that you need to work the body a little, such that you open your lungs and breath deeply so that the inhalation brings fresh oxygen into your body and cells to energise and cleanse, and the exhalation removes stagnant energy and releases. Here are some suggestions; please do add more in the comments if you have found strategies that work for you:
- Be close to trees, running water, or the sea.
- Hill running or running on country lanes.
- Hill or mountain/ forest hiking.
- Cycling in the countryside or hills/ mountains.
- Sea or river swimming.
- Yoga that emphasises breath work and is sufficiently tricky to focus your mind.
- Breath work; there are many classes and courses on this available and I am sure a host of YouTube videos and suggestions.
- Dance like no one is watching 🙂
- For those that aren’t lovers of sport do something creative; wildly creative! Be messy, chuck paint, get your hands messy and connect to soul.
- For those unable to do sport due to health conditions then try either sitting out in nature, spending time with animals, or attending a therapy that allows your body to release; or meditate.
Know that you are truly loved and supported by the invisible threads of love that sew us together on this awesome planet.
Believe that all will be well.
Trust in yourself and listen to the whispers of your soul.
Stop running for that is when you will find yourself;
Allow the beauty of life to come to you.
Tomorrow do what today you thought impossible; that is growth
“Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them.”
― Marvin J. Ashton
“Before you can live a part of you has to die. You have to let go of what could have been, how you should have acted and what you wish you would have said differently. You have to accept that you can’t change the past experiences, opinions of others at that moment in time or outcomes from their choices or yours. When you finally recognize that truth then you will understand the true meaning of forgiveness of yourself and others. From this point you will finally be free.”
― Shannon L. Alder
“Faith makes all things possible. Hope makes all things work. Love makes all things beautiful.”
PS Helpful resources:
Empath (the extra sensitive being) (yes this is apparently safe to download)
Abraham Hicks — Healing the past (give this some time to get going)