What love means….


As an intro it always tests me to share my personal writings. So why do I? Well if what I learn in life as I navigate this path can reach and touch others and help just one person then it is all so worth it. Enjoy…

In the past weeks life has crossed my path with G. A wonderful man who I cannot even justify an attempt to put into descriptive words as our journey is only beginning. And it is the journey that I have felt in my soul for a long time now so when that special person walks into your life with the intention of stepping on that same path with you, and holding your hand to keep you steady; well all I can say is that is truly does create wonder in my whole being at the beauty of this life.

I have always been feisty; deep deep down it is the essence of who I am: a feisty, determined, strong woman (god help him I hear you say!). I have a powerful sense of purpose, fuelled by passion and when I lost my connection with myself, there was always the feeling of there being ‘something more’ that guided me back; more worth, more love, more meaning, more purpose and when life felt all too much that feeling of ‘there are more reasons to why I am here’ made every tear bearable, every step manageable, and every choice for change achievable.

Please promise to love and accept yourself in every moment of your path this far. It is not a case of locking the past in a closet of shame but more so appreciating and being grateful for all that it taught you and for embracing that  part of your past that makes you who you have now become.

Fear teaches you love.
Anxiety shows you direction.
Tears cleanse pain.
Pain identifies that which is not for you.
Loneliness adds bravery to your steps.
Depression gives you time for pause; make it temporary.
Anger identifies your fuel for passion; use it wisely.
Sadness shows you the inner child inside awaiting for you to love and forgive.
Envy highlights that which you may wish to empower in your own life.
Feeling scared often shows you that leaping now is absolutely possible.
Frustration leads to a path more certain.

And meltdown, illness, and fatigue are the most certain signposts  that you could ever ask for to start making choices in new directions.

Dreams by Josephine Wall

Dreams by Josephine Wall

If life has taught me one powerful insight it is that we truly are the masters and creators of our lives. It starts with being at peace with where you are now, being accountable to and responsible for your choices and actions (and their consequences) and never ever giving up on your self or your dreams.

“Be gentle; tread softly, sweetly and most importantly confidently forward in the direction that feels right for you. The universe will meet you half way; she’s the one that knows the specific details: the hows, whats, whens, and whys. All you need to do it sit back and enjoy the ride. And don’t forget that the magic of dreams is the journey and the actions; not the destination so soak in the stars on your way.”

Let the past go…

This week I feel like I have been fighting a rip tide of fear. I have been enveloped by past hurts, negative experiences, old beliefs and a whole abundance of what can only be described as FEAR and WHAT IF’s. To add to this I am fully aware of the insanity and have watched myself trying to control the currents of the ocean instead of letting it take me to where I am meant to go. It is exhausting fighting with the demons of the past all the while someone who cares for you just wants to be with you for simple fun and good times as well as wanting to show you what being truly cared for means.

hold hands

So what does one do to release the fear?

Be honest with yourself and your new love, be objective as the past is in the past, be kind to yourself as there is no doubt that past hurts and experiences were real but it is time to let them go from your body; and finally forgive yourself – you always did the best that you knew in any moment.


If we hold onto the fear and pain, anger or sadness it has a tendency to reappear in subsequent relationships. You owe it to yourself to rewrite your future by setting these old patterns free. Spend some time thinking about what you want (as opposed to what you don’t want), how you want to feel, how love feels in your life, what you want to give of yourself, and all the details that you wish to create in your life moving forward.

For example what qualities are important? What activities, interests and sports? Let your mind and heart really day-dream off into creating this vision all the while focusing on how you feel in all this.

Do this often and then in your day to day start to live life authentically; follow your passions, open your heart and be your best you. Don’t wait for someone to appear in your life like superman or superwoman to give you permission to be all you are and do all you dream…. it is in the living all that you are with love and faith in your own heart that allows more love to find you.  

Butterfly by Emma Plunkett

Butterfly by Emma Plunkett

“It does not take another to complete you;
You are complete.

Do not expect another to give you wings;
You can already fly.

Don’t wait for THE ONE to give purpose to your life;
Find it yourself.

Don’t wait for life to start “when”;
Live it now.

See the good in everyone,
And expect more.

Shine your heart light bright
And learn to love yourself from the inside out.

Trust in life
And watch the miracles unfold.


I had been single, previous to this more or less for four years. Out of the devastating realisation that the person I was married to and loved could clip my wings so tight that I lost my ability to not only fly but to even trust in life grew a journey of wonder, growth, empowerment, connections, and love in the bigger sense. I found myself and I made a point to do this before I would commit to anyone again.

I learnt to love no matter what, however I equally struggled to let love in. That is my challenge; to let love back in when the past taught me that words aren’t true, love hurts, love beats you down and tells you that you aren’t good enough just as you are; and that love controls.

It is far easier to love than it is to accept love. Hurt builds walls, defences and safe distances and within this safe zone the flow of life is blocked.


So what is love?

Is it a neurobiochemical reaction? Is it lust? Is it merely to procreate? Is it simply what binds us all together so we can thrive on this planet or is it something more?

Is it something  vast and awesome so that every day as we let more in we learn something new and expand?

Love truly is the driving force of life,
It is the new parents tears of overwhelming joy,
The elderly couple holding hands like the first day they met.
It is the first person you wake to and the last person you kiss goodnight.
Love is eternal, unconditional, and expansive.

Love is the power to let go.
The force that trusts,
The desire to be better,
The awareness to do right,
And the acceptance to set free.

Love is the parent that does best; not knows best.
The teacher who supports freedom and not rules.
Love is creative, messy, and makes mistakes;
Yet embraces all colour, race, sex, and beliefs….
Love is the You and the I combined in ONE.

Love gives the other wings to fly,
The belief to be free,
The independence to stay,
The heart-connection to be far away,
And is the feeling enveloping your soul with pure joy.

Love is the man that empowers a woman
To step into her Divine Feminine power.
Love is the woman that encourages a man to soar
And embraces him back to rest in her bosom.
Love is the parent that allows; the child that forgives;
And the magic that connect each to All, and All to Gaia.

Love is everything.
It connects families, communities, nations, and worlds.
It is compassion, understanding, empathy, and forgiveness.
Love IS the Truth and the Way.

Love big; nothing can ever take away your capacity to love. Be the first to give your heart and not the last to diminish another’s.

I also hope that some day soon love will be what drives government decisions, religious teachings, educational values, the force behind our actions, and the inspiration behind scientific research and medical healing. .


Love happens when you realise that you are the Sun, the Moon and the Stars; allow this to flow through and to you…….

With love



3 thoughts on “What love means….

  1. Pingback: Beef Tongue and Vegetable Curry | Andrea Cullen

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