You know when you injure yourself and it hurts how you notice it because it hurts? So you pay attention to it, and do what it needs, so that it can heal and grow stronger. And then it heals; perhaps with a scar but it heals nevertheless.
Our emotions are a bit like this. The wounds we carry from life. They want to heal and help us to grow from them. They want us to get back living.
It is said that we come into existence to learn great lessons in our life. To overcome, to become, to thrive.
Growth comes with growing pains – some of us are more aware of this than others and this is ok. Some days feel like a veritable shit-storm but if we stay there too long we miss the rainbows.
We all have different experiences in life and some occur at significant times in our development (early years) that can lead to deep wounds, and some of us are more resilient than others, or better at blocking it out and building a giant wall to contain the pain wound. Some of are so sensitive that the world of people can create great misunderstanding and emotional trauma. You are not weak, they are not necessarily cold callous strong – it is just a case of different thresholds, different experiences, different nurturing at crucial times to build attachment, skills and resilience.
Life is a gift, of this there is no doubt; it is often hard to shed light on the deepest wounds because they hurt and then we feel ungrateful even giving them a voice. And awareness can cause us to focus so far inwards that at times it can feel like we have just opened Pandora’s box to victim-hood and feeling sorry for ourselves. Yet without looking in, we cannot put love into the emptiest of places, we cannot ask questions about what all this means, we cannot have awareness of what that pain feels like or how it drives our actions and behaviours and then we cannot find solutions and strategies to live to our full potential.
No, we must sometimes look in, to start shining out. Healing doesn’t always make it go away; but it teaches you to face and over come fears and limiting beliefs. It shows you that it is worth braving life in all its wonder.
The pain triggers we each hold can be very different, and how these express through our actions and words and walls or physical pain can be so different between us all that there is no right or wrong. It just is. But to run from or ignore the wounds and the inner child can sometimes hurt us even more. You will know your best strategy. Not every one of us needs to open that box; some of us don’t need to understand or unravel it and find that the best solution is to leave the box closed and move on in life.
Respect how one another wants to deal with things; but don’t reward people’s bad behaviour.
We all have to ‘grow up’ at some point which essentially means growing through our experiences and understanding that this is a process asking for patience and curiosity.
We cannot throw the pain out as anger or control or other negative patterns at other people… this isn’t fair and it isn’t being responsible; nor can we throw these negative emotions inwards in self-destruction.
Let the process unfold…
We are all far stronger than we believe; and although deep hurts can leave us feeling alone, abandoned, isolated, scared, fearful, anxious, depressed, angry and so on there are many ways to release these emotions and replace them with new focus and goals and more importantly compassion; compassion for ourselves and for all humanity.
Feeling alone and unsupported is a trigger for me. Some days I feel desperately alone feeling the world and her pain. I feel emotions from within and coming at me from externally. It then triggers many irrational thoughts around letting people close, trusting, fears over the people I love leaving and feeling alone and separate in my family. The fears manifest in my body with anxiety and unrest and tummy issues and my head starts to go a million miles into the conflict of emotional feelings versus physical feelings. Words not related to the trigger but that I experienced from my past surface. It all becomes a bit of a mash. I push people further away, I forget my support team of spirit world that are there holding me safe. I doubt my capacity to help people and do what drives me in the world because I don’t feel strong enough. All triggered from my childhood and experiences through life and yet so so powerful that the best I can do is to continue growing from them and being better as a person.
It’s a slippery slope and yet the world around me thinks that I am strong….. hilarious really. Also I am highly aware of the tools that help me, the skills I have learnt to shift my focus, the powerful healing that surrounds me in Mother Nature. The strong man by my side believing in me. You see, I too scramble around in this mess of pain, because I must understand it to do the work that I do and understand you. If it was simple to just snap out of it all then I would have zero compassion.
I KNOW many big scary and overwhelming feelings and emotions because I have been there too. I understand more than anything how badly you want to feel seen, and heard, and safe and supported.
I get it that some days it all feels too much.
I also know that to shift focus into a better feeling space is possible; and to see yourself as the beautiful caring individual that you are is also possible.
You didn’t come here to stay stuck; you came here to emerge and fly………..
You aren’t mad, you aren’t daft and you aren’t selfish…..acknowledge the feelings and start to see your story as a journey towards something great and the greatness is in every step.
The story of your life…. you can write everything after chapter 1.
PS these words grabbed my attention this week; I think from A Note from the Universe!
Those who are needy of attention, Andrea, hide from themselves their greatness.
Those who are needy of opportunity, Andrea, hide from themselves their power to create.
And those who are needy of love, Andrea, hide from themselves what’s already there.
such a great post. More power to your pen. Keep up the good work.
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