Quit making excuses

breath

Happy Monday everyone,

I wanted very briefly to bring your awareness to the “art of making excuses”; something we can all be very skilled at! Recently I met someone while out doing my own training and before they even said hello to me and asked me how I was they came out with a raft of excuses. I can only assume that they thought that I was judging them and I was doing nothing of the sort; I was simply happy to see them.

go earn it

The conversation was painful to my ears; to hear a raft of excuses about performance and fitness and all the reasons why it was poor (I didn’t even think it was) and yadadada. I didn’t care about all this nonsense, I wasn’t enjoying the conversation particularly, and the energy from where all this need to make an excuse came from did not sit comfortably in my sensitive being. I wanted to know how the person was, I wanted to experience their exercise buzz, to share a laugh, to hear a story or learn about the more meaningful moments in their recent life. Instead I made my get out and off I continued; that’s the neat thing about exercise plans!!

And before you say anything; we ALL do this, more often than we care to think….

This article is about us, not someone. The story is only an example of what we tend to hear in life, often, and it makes me sad that anyone would need an excuse. “Never apologise for who you are” are words I was told this weekend to remind me that whatever choices I may make, are my choices for better or worse.

Another area that we may wish to explore is the times in our lives when we make excuses for our health or more specifically excuses for why we are ill, despite there being a veritable wealth of information, tools, therapists, medically trained experts, physical activity and movement experts and other support systems out there to help us.

How often do we hear people list off reasons such as being too busy for not making changes in their lives to have health. I don’t really understand it, personally speaking, and I endeavour to understand it as best I can as only then can I be of assistance. yet I also see that pussy footing around some peoples attitudes is not really empowering them at all. Sometimes we need to see the truth in our behavours. And yet I am often the bad cop then; but I would rather be the bad cop that triggers someone into change than the enabler.

In my mind I will make time, prioritise changes, and invest money in being well. I am grateful for support and will pay whatever it takes to have the best advice because being really healthy reaps immeasurable rewards including time and money in my life. I cannot afford NOT to be well; the investment is returned in abundance.

I have to give my clients credit, most are incredibly positive and not afraid to put in the work, investment, and also the time; in not only making better diet and lifestyle choices but also in exploring all the emotional factors for why they got where there where in the first place. They embrace the hard shit because they see a life ahead worth living….

If you are stuck in excuse making and blame for where you are; then stop and explore why.

freud

No one cares about your excuses,
Give people an excuse to believe and they will see a person making excuses.
Believe that you are a failure and they will see you as a failure.

Give people a person that believes in themselves,
And they will believe in you.

Confidence is infectious,
an infection that people need in their lives because it motivates, inspires, and reminds people that we all can strive to be more.

We all have the capacity in us to be a hero,
And heroes work hard….

It is sad to me that someone would feel a need to make excuses to me in the first place. The thing is, it’s not about me, it’s not even about them; it’s about an old and very active conditioning and fear. Something has got this person stuck.

Life is about a continual stream of experiences, failures, and moments where we have life-defining choices to make. The falling flat on our face is how we learn to walk. Sadly however, we live in a society which might have us easily believe that enough is never enough, winning is something that you can never ever drop your game in, failure is laughed upon, and comparisons between this person and that person, you and I are rife. That is if you let this type of thinking mentality freeze you in your tracks on your way to great things….

Success comes with a price; how much are you prepared to invest in yourself?

No one will believe in your dreams and goals as much as you; so stop waiting for permission and just get started!

your-excuses-are-just-the-lies-your-fears-have-sold-you

Who gives a shit really about what others may think? Do you care that they may judge you on the hundred times you may fail; when every fall happens in order for you to learn how to better reach your goals and to taste how hungry your desire is? Your why. Every time you fall you can make a choice to stay down, or to get up because your goals and dreams matter to you.

So if you are making excuses, does doing what you do make you happy in the first place? Where are you actually trying to go? Why are you doing what you do? What do you gain from doing what you do? What makes it meaningful? Are these your goals and dreams?

a_life_spent_2014-04-30_15-12-47

If what you are doing doesn’t make you feel alive, doesn’t grow you as a person, and doesn’t give your life meaning and purpose then what the fuck are you doing this for?

If you always look outside to seek validation then you will forever feel inadequate and like something is missing in your life: passion.

So, I am not going to drivel on here; if you have found yourself making excuses lately perhaps ask yourself a couple of questions:

  • Are you happy?
  • Are you doing what makes you happy or doing what you feel you “must do”?
  • Are your expectations too high?
  • Have you taken too many things on board?
  • Are you doing this for the right reasons?
  • What are your reasons? Your why.
  • Why do you feel the need to make excuses?
  • Are you comparing yourself to others?
  • Are you judging yourself or allowing yourself to fall prey to someone else’s ridiculous standards, expectations, and comparisons?

The world needs more people who aren’t afraid to be different and jump completely out of the box; regardless of how scary it feels to be seen as “different”.  The most inspiring people through time were often considered mad, were loners and dreamers, and told ‘no’ more times than they heard ‘yes’….and they did it anyway because they believed in themselves and something ‘more’.

be differemt

If some in your life is making a lot of excuses about life then perhaps consider doing your best to not allow the excessive rant of excuses persist and invite in a space of compassion and understanding such that the truth may come out.

It takes self belief, faith, and action to make your dreams come true;
And why wouldn’t you believe in yourself?
When you believe in yourself there will always be a dream to chase and no time for an excuse.

 

happiness

Here is a motivational compilation that is well worth a listen. Give it a chance. I listen to it while training and apply the little gems I gain to my life, work and training.

These are neat articles that will get you thinking that I stumbled upon last week:

How to Break Out of a Victim Mentality: 7 Powerful Tips
Why you should not give a fuck
How do you start not giving a fuck

 

“Dream On” by Aerosmith

Every time I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It went by, like dusk to dawn
Isn’t that the way
Everybody’s got their dues in life to payYeah, I know nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know it’s everybody’s sin
You got to lose to know how to winHalf my life’s
In books’ written pages
Lived and learned from fools and
From sages
You know it’s true
All the things come back to youSing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you awayYeah, sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me, just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dream comes true
Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dream comes through
Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream On Dream On
Dream On Dream On, AHHHHHHH

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away
Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away…

Much love,

Andrea (reminding you just how capable you are 🙂 )

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