Hello ladies (and fellow-men that wish to understand your ladies),
The energies have been intense, the feelings within of frustration, energy fluxing from anger-high bubbles to depressed-fatigued lows; and the sense wanting to break free are overwhelming.
Even I am struggling a little to simply allow these feelings flow through as information about the world outside of me and also within me. Information that stirs me within to reach out and connect with you.
So as prompted by the energies speaking through me I recorded this blog yesterday. Please listen and then read on.
Normally when I write a blog or record a message the feelings pass; they are done. I have created from what I have been given and I can move on to the next. And yet this morning I woke with feeling it all again.
This fire within which is so intense I am not sure that I want to be feeling it. It wants to lash out, speak up, stand my ground, shake people up that expect me to stay small; it wants to kick my own ass out of being submissive and a yes person, giving it all before I know if anything is left to chase my own dreams. I didn’t really know what it felt like until I took to the country lanes, ran like I was being chased, and turned off my music and listened.
Then I realised that in essence this energy feels like the potential bad ass bitch in me wanting to have her say.
Hmmmm…. I don’t want to be a bitch, I work hard to be a nice person, grateful and giving, thoughtful, conscious, loving and kind. What is this bitch in me wanting?
I have seen women abuse power, I have been at the other end of a lot of anger, experienced corporate over-compensation and jealous, envious, gossiping, stab you in the back behaviour from women. Behaviour and words that confused me, hurt me, and lead to me feeling ashamed, useless and broken. It took a lot of healing. I have also had my eyes opened to the world of controlling men; men wishing to dominate and keep their women in their place. And I went fully into that lesson 🙂
So when this, lets call it bitch energy is wanting to shake things up, every part of my being is like NO…. no no and no.
So…. what is going on? I know I am feeling what many other women are feeling and experiencing right now. What is this energy? Is this what is described as the shadow? Yes. That part within that we will do our all to suppress because we feel ashamed to feel these feelings? Are we a little scared of our strength? Are we scared of the part of us that demands action?
So as I ran on…. and what a run it was; I just let my feet connect with the ground and asked for insight. I stopped thinking and started feeling.
Spring is here, I passed the early brave spring flowers showing me hope and resilience, budding blossoms, and was greeted by robins and singing blue tits on my route. I said thank you so many times to the chorus which sang its heart out to announce that spring is here:
And I tuned in to what all this means.
This energy pulsing in your veins is not a bad thing.
It is an energy that frightens us because it announces change. Change to who we think we are, who people perceive us to be, and changes in the directions of our hearts.
Change in the form of now taking action when before we merely dreamed. We were asleep and now every cell wants to wake up.
We need this energy to help us leap into our purpose and path with courage and determination.
This is not bitch energy, it is passion energy.
Embracing this energy is not going to make you a bad person, an angry person or that person you don’t want to be; embracing this energy will allow the fire in your heart to sing. To suppress this energy will lead to fatigue, illness and depression.
In fact what if us feeling sorry for ourselves, and in our lack of breaking through these stories that we keep telling ourselves about who we are and who we aren’t and in continuing to play small… what if we are in fact feeding the victim within. Something I don’t want to live my life being; a victim to bullshit stories that I tell myself.
So sing loudly with your song, carry the song of the strong women that came before us. They fought to have a voice, we now have opportunity to have this voice… to sing our rightful song and bring out gifts into the world to not only achieve our dreams but support those we love and every person that we cross to believe and achieve theirs also.
In honour of the strong women that have blessed my life, my mother Heather, my cousin Vikki, my grandmothers Rae and Muriel; the strong women in my life (yes you), and every woman who has spoken to me in my channellings.
Thank you; I won’t let you down
PS this is a nice article, so sharing: The Dark Side of Being Light
thank you to a lovely friend for sharing these awesome words
Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t read a book on how to let go…
She didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line.
She didn’t utter one word.
She just let go.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
There was no effort.
There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.